the happy one.

i wanted to write.

there's quite a lot of things in my mind now.. but i don't know why i just can't seem to put it in words.

i told ming that i can't write lately.


you know what he said??

hmmphh....


"because last time you lonely ma.. got so much time... and you always not happy.. that's why can write.. now you cannot write because you're not alone.. plus, now so happy... *grin*"

-_-:


last time i very pathetic meh? nothing to do beside blogging meh?? i don't have him very lonely meh? ceh...

hmm..

but he's a bit right.

not about the lonely part..

about the writing part..

i can write when i'm unhappy. when i'm angry. when i'm emotional..

he's right.

i'm happy now.

i don't really how to express happiness in words.

i'm happy now because everything seems to be great.

let's see why...


1. i have a fulltime job.. (though i didn't finish my studies in college..)

2. i have more freedom compared to last year.. (though i still have to inform daddy if i'm not going home..)

3. i still have my best friends..(though i hardly ever see them nowadays..)

4. i have ming with me everyday.. (though he never fail to tell me how fat i am every possible chances that he have..)

5. i can eat choki-choki when i'm working!!! (though sometimes, i also eat mcD sundae, nasi lemak, kuey tiao goreng, halls honey lemon flavor, mamak's cendol, etc...)

6. i have time to watch anime.... ~_~ (though sometimes, i also watch porn...)


isn't that enough to make me a happy one?? ^O^


hehehee...

i wrote an entry today.

and suddenly i have to close the internet explorer due to some error.

ugh...

no mood to write again.

shall continue tmr.

burr..

the continued story.

ok.. back to the story...

where was i...? hmm...



oh.. i was saying that i was so wrong...

yes. i was wrong.

i realised that if you truly love someone, tears will flow easily.

i've always thought that nobody can replace harvey.

until i met ming.

no. i'm not saying this just to make anyone feel better. i'm really saying what i felt.

from the first time i met ming for teh tarik, i knew he'll only make me laugh.

he did.

before we're officially together....

whenever i get his text message, i grin..

whenever i hop in his car for a ride to the lrt for work, i grin..

whenever we meet for dinner/supper/yamcha sessions, also grin.

-_-:

whenever we talk, no matter what topic, there's only smiles, grins, and laughters.

whenever i'm with him, i'm happy.

i forget.

i forget about how painful it was to stay alone in KL while harvey is away.

i forget about how difficult it was to have boyfriend ten thousand miles away, not knowing when we're going to meet again.

i forget about how hurtful it was when i made the decision to let go a truly beautiful love just like that.

yes... i forget how sad i was whenever i get ming's text / get a call from ming / meet him up for dinner.

he is the person who made me forget about all that miserable thing for a while.

that's why i like seeing him.

that's why i like talking to him.

he's capable to make me smile throughout our outing, from the moment i see him until the moment he sent me home.

that's ming.



*to be continued

the wrong thoughts.

"let's see each other once a week instead of everyday".

that's what he said when we're watching tv the other day...

instead of giving him my normal,"why? why duwan see me?" and "bB dun love me d ar?" and "bB boring see me meh? i know.... you wanna see other girlfriend!!! *evil grin*", reaction, i just nodded and replied, "okay" without looking away from the tv.

i wasn't in the mood for jokes. i'm tired working the whole day and was stucked in the non-moving bus due to the ever-popular traffic jam in KL for more than an hour. Plus, i've been thinking lately that we spent too much time together. we see each other everyday. yes.. everyday. i started to wonder if he'll get bored one day.

i've been talking to Celeste about this... she asked me, "you see each other everyday, not bored ar?"

i told her no. i'm not bored at all.

i still have those butterlies-in-my-stomach feeling whenever i'm going to see him..

i still look forward to seeing him every single day...

i still find that making funny faces is not boring..

i still like to "force" him to kiss my back of hand whenever i said or did something stupid, even though he always say, "eeee... smelly hand...." or "why always force me kiss you??" *bluek*

i still like to multi-kiss him on the shoulder everytime i hop in his car knowing that he'll say, "yer... dirty ar..." and i'll ask, "your shirt?"... he'll never fail to say, "yalor.. you make my shirt dirty... hyuckk..." *smack his lap and throw him an evil look*

yes. i still feel that way.

then we talked that night.. i told him i know that i'm becoming a burden to him. and that's the last thing i ever wanted to happen.

i once said, "he who makes her cry doesn't deserve to be with her. and i believe that he'll only make me smile. i also believe that he'll never make me drop a single tear of sorrow."

i was so wrong.



*to be continued.