My 2-Balls Are Gutless.

So I have made a decision to resign from my current job.

 

Time to move on to the next station.

 

The thing is... I don't know how to do it. I kinda chickened out just before I'm going in to see my boss this morning, which is my supposedly planned best time to tender my resignation.

 

My boss is, no doubt, a very nice boss and very nice man in general. He gave me no difficulty in my job but the longer I work with him, the more I feel that I'm not fit for the job. Like I said, even my close friend cum ex-colleague told me that I am definitely not a Personal Assistant material, which I kinda agree.

 

I feel bad for not being able to meet up to his standard. I feel bad that I'm so lost in this industry and not taking much initiative to be better (maybe it's really because I don't have much interest in insurance generally). I feel bad to have such a goldfish memory. I feel bad that I'm not sensitive enough in certain areas. I definitely feel bad when the CEO's PA is damn good compared to me. Like heaven and hell. I kinda feel like I'm not much of a help to him.

 

When I first join this company, I thought that I can do better than before. I thought that I'm well-prepared. I thought that it's gonna be easy. I thought that I can become a super-PA. But I was wrong. I am not suitable for this position. At all.

 

For a person who can't sit still, I'm considered doing a good job for this whole 6 months. This place, for a lot of people, is a very comfortable place. Fixed working hours. Fixed days. Good benefits, like lunch, medical, gym, more AL compared to most small companies etc. but for me, this is not the things that matter most. I needed something more exciting. That lil something that keeps me motivated and keep me striving for more. of course, the new job awaiting for me have less AL, more working hours/days, less benefits cos it's not a big company, but the things that I'll learn and the experience that I'll get in return, I think it's worth it. I cannot say it's 100% worthwhile, but at least I know it's something that I'll love doing.

 

Now.. how am I going to tell my boss that I wanted to leave?

 

He's such a nice boss. It hurts to think that I'm letting him down.