Actually Pointless

Asking a man to be more sensitive is a lot harder than asking him to make a million dollars. I really think that the male species are really slacking in the emotion department. Like they never seem to understand the importance of being emotionally sensitive.

To be honest, the current relationship that I’m in is the longest in my history and I can safely say that it’s definitely the most stable relationship ever. I wrote/talked about it countless times – we never really fought/argue during these 4 years of being together. Simply because both of us seems to have an unspoken agreement that no matter how angry we get, we won’t let it linger overnight. He have this “innocent” baby face that whenever I look at him when I’m angry, I’ll “lose” the battle, and his stupid “pan” cute voice will sent me into bursting laughter if I chose to close my eyes to avoid looking at him. If he’s angry, I’ll “pan” cute and give him my “innocent” face to annoy the hell outta him and he’ll give in. see? How to get angry at each other like that?

So after 4 years of comically annoy and “argue” with each other, I feel that it defeats the purpose of arguing and getting angry. Cos now, he will never know when is the time that I’m honestly really very very very angry because he will think that I’m just joking/playing with him. Fml. Okay, to be fair, maybe he feels the same way too.

Okay, I think I digressed.

The reason that I’m ranting today is that.. er..  ok. I’m kinda not so angry anymore compared to yesterday when a super FML moment happened (see how I easily get diverted?).

The point is.. it’s so difficult to get him to be more sensitive towards me. Sometimes, I really think that I’m too lenient. I mean.. I sensed that he’s taking me for granted cos I’m always so easily pacified. I never demand for impossible things. Even if I did, he’ll reason out with me and result that I get is always way below from what I asked/requested. I think I appeared to be a very lembik person without a clear direction and kinda almost always self-pitying without realizing. He always tells me that I’m too easy-going, that’s why people always step on my head/use me. Not that I mind being “used”… if I’ve got nothing to lose, then why not right? So I guess that’s why he also always bullies me cos he thinks that I won’t realize. But sometimes, I need to be angry too, right? I have to protest once in a while too right? At least respect me a bit lah… RIGHT?

See? I digressed again.

Sigh. Actually, I just wanna rant cos SOMEONE pissed me off last night and my anger didn’t manage to last overnight! Somemore have to heat up the leftover spaghetti porkball for his supper. FML. Someone teach me how to become angry already! I’ll give you lollipop in return!