22 July 2011


Lately I’ve been trying to look at things that I’ve kept away for a very long time.

Things that I tried to keep it away from surfacing.

Little things that I chose not to mention. Things that I chose to forget.

Little things that I tried convincing myself that it’s okay to be kept away.

And now, that treasure box filled with those little little things couldn’t take in any more of it and I have to reluctantly take those little things out one by one, to reorganize, and to decide what to keep and what not worth keeping anymore.

Which gives a little cringe every time I took out something.

Each and every bit of it means something. It’s hard to take all of it out and scrutinize one by one. I realized that it’s even harder to decide which ones to keep, and which ones to abandon.

Always easier said than done. *shrug*

I’ve come to a point where I’m not sure if all of it means anything at all. Does it ever? If it doesn’t, then why am I still holding on to it?

I really want to change things.

I really wished that things are different.

I wished all of it was just a dream so I can wake up from it and forget everything. Forget how I felt. Forget all the words that I’ve heard. Forget all the things that happened before my eyes.

I wished to just forget.