today when i tuned in to a chinese radio station, they were talking about one of our country's richest man, Lim Goh Tong, or Uncle Lim. At firs, i heard the person said something in mandarin, about Uncle Lim's past.. i thought, "wow! this station shares something different today." i wonder if it's their new concept... to talk about some millionaires' past, how hardworking are they before they become rich. i wonder who's the next person they're gonna review.. so i went for breakfast and when i was on the way to work, i heard the dj on the radio announced that Uncle Lim actually passed away last night, or was it morning... i can't remember.. i reckon that when a person passed away, sure we will only say all the nice things about that person. this morning, they interviewed few people who worked with Uncle Lim before... all of them said that he's a very nice man. likes to keep himself in his employees' shoes. because he worked hard for what he have now. not that i didn't agree on them but.. is there really nothing else other than nice things?

why do we only appreciate someone afther they passed away? why do we only say nice things when they're dead? why not say it when they're still alive and able to hear it? if some of you read Mitch Albom's Tuesdays With Morrie, there's a part where he gathered his family and friends when he knew that he's slowly dying, and ask all of them to do a speech. a speech when you give during a funeral. he said something like.. he wanted to hear what everybody will say about him when he's still around. because when he's dead, he can't hear them anymore.

which i think it's very true.

when a person is dead, they can't hear us. why say it when a person is not around anymore?

i do admit i'm the same as well.. and i do believe that it's very normal that we only say nice things when a person is gone rather than when they're still around. cos he's already dead. let's just remember the good things rather than bad ones.

like both of my grandfathers.. when they're still around, i seldom talk to them and say some nice things about them very often. but when they're gone, i say only good things about them. do realise that they are nice people. but i never share it out so often. i do ocassionally tell my friends that my grandfather(father's side) is a very strong man. he still can climb and chop down a tree at the age of 95... i do tell my friends that he likes gardening and he's very creative also.

but i never tell them that when i was schooling, i dread staying at home during the weekend cos i have to take care of him. not that i need to bathe him or what, i only have to do simple things like heat up the porridge for his lunch, boil water for his thermos when it's evening cos he likes to drink hot water. but i still stay at home cos i believe in karma. so i do take care of him when i'm still living with him. and when i moved out live with ming, and started working, i go back every weekend and buy kuih, egg tarts, or tong sui for my grandparents for their tea time.

so for me, i think it's not about what we say after a person is not around anymore. is what we do for them when they're still around.

well... i'm not a bad grandchild after all, huh?