so here i am, sitting in front of the pc, blogging again.. i just came home.. went out with jenn hoel again.. accompanied him to have his dinner at some mamak in OUG.. the food there is not delicious at all.. argued with him earlier cos i said i wanted to go Steven's Corner and he said he don't want.. God knows why.. (he keep on saying "i just don't wanna go there.." "you don't understand me..".. i wonder why.. they have nicer food there...) -_-: went for a ride after that... i drove to somewhere inside of OUG, dead end.. turned out to Puchong,dead end.. made a U-turn to Pantai Hillpark... (i miss that place a lot... bring back some sweet memories.. i miss my baby)... made another U-turn to Brickfields, then to Taman Seputeh (another dead end...) then to the hill behind my house.. like usual, stopped by and smoked a lil.. watched the incomplete full moon.. sing some stupid song.. then went back.. jenn slept through almost the entire journey.. "i don't want to think of anything, that's why i sleep.. but i know you met a lot of dead ends.." he told me.. even though he joked a lot, i can sense that he's unhappy lately.. but i'm not sure what it is.. i've always thought that i understand him.. but i doubted that.. i don't know what's in his mind.. but i'm sure i can sense his feelings.. i'm just not sure what it is.. i don't ask a lot, and he don't talk much bout it. that's us.. we don't have to say things out loud, just be there to listen to each other's silence and that's more than enough.. he's my best buddy. and i'm not ready to lose him and nobody can replace him even though he's not there for me anymore. i know that one day, we'll be apart from each other's world, busy with ourselves.. and finally start to care less bout each other.. but that ONE day, will not be soon.. and even if the day comes, we'll still have each other in our hearts.. it's a promise that we never make, but knew it perfectly well.. "friends come and go.. it's just the way they come and the way they go.. when they come, and when they will go.." that's what he said to me two years back when i had the worse day of my life.. i'll never forget this ever..

i wonder how my life will be in the future. i'm pretty sure that lotsa things will change.. i'll meet new people, and i'll have to let some of the old ones go. i'll learn more, and i hope that i'll never forget things.. important things. but i'm still not sure which path it will lead me to.. the one that i've always dream of, or the one destined by God from the day i born?

i read back the journal that i wrote since the past few years.. i realised how drastic a person's feelings can change in short period of time. an almost perfect love can turn into total hatred in a blink of an eye.. i realised how fast i can actually change. and how long it took me to stand up after a fall.. it scared me a lil..

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately.. i recall back those times that i've shared with harvey. thinking back, it's kinda sad in a happy way.. funny how we met.. funny how things turned out.. went through a lot without realising.. and i guess i know when it all started.... it is since the day we met... and i'm glad that we met.. though i fucked things up a lil along the way.. but i'm glad how things turned out to be.. *grin*


[music on air]
collide by howie day.

[curent mood]
uhm.. great, i guess..

[quote of the day]
the cure for lovesick is always tears..

[next station]
dreamworld.