troubles, thoughts and feelings.

well, yesterday was fun. though unplanned, it went great. went to a production house's opening, there was a party there. at first, i thought it was bored, so me and fazral went to KJ for a drink. few hours after that, debb said it's happening. there's a dj spinning, so we went back there. it's unexpectedly fun. so i guess, everybody enjoyed the night though everything was last minute. after that, we went to another place, i forgot where it was.. i think it's somewhere in damansara perdana, nearby the production house. we chilled there for one or two hours i think.. everybody's so friendly though we just met. they're nice. we went back to fazral's place and i spent the night. poor Man, he waited for us at home the whole night. how i wished that he was there. at least he's one of a person whom i know there last night besides my sis, fazral, amin and korkor. met a few people though. they're nice too. i enjoyed it pretty much.

hmm... friendship.. it's something that you really can't predict. and most of the time, friendship is like a betrayal of all time. i mean.. it's ironic.. you trust them wholeheartedly, yet you can't trust them so much. i really don't understand.. how can a friend, a best friend, whom you know for years, all of a sudden, feel that you're not that good anymore. perhaps, that you're never good, even though he knows you very well? even though all this while, he tells you that you're actually a nice person, that you're different from others.. that's why he feels very comfortable talking to you.. but in a split second, you became a total stranger to him.. everything looks ugly.. and he don't see you like he always does.. in just a split second, you lose it... hmm.. and that's what you call friend. a friend who understand you the most. a friend who's there anytime, everytime. a friend who used to care. a friend who used to say that you're the only best girl friend that he can talk about almost anything and everything. a friend who did what normal friends doesn't do. a friend whom you trust the most.. turns out to be something that you never even expect... he just let you go.. when he knows that you're falling, he just let go off his hands and watch you fall hard on the ground... THAT'S a friend that i have. disappointed and clueless. i wish i know what's the reason behind all this.. i wish i know...

sigh~
i wish there's someone who can understand me and accept me for who i am. i wish there's someone whom i can talk to no matter what mood i have. i wish there's someone who can cuddle me and tell me everything's gonna be okay. i wish to be heard.. i prayed to God almost every night, and i wonder if He heard my prayers. i really wish that He does.


[current mood]
sober.

[quote of the day]
"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world" (i wish this is true...)

[next station]
sleep.