memories with the crack family.

i miss The Crack Family. a LOT!! i missed the first berbuka puasa with them on saturday... sobz...! next week.. they promised next week..........

when i come to think of it, though i never really hang out with The Crack Family a lot, i've learned many things through our various conversations while we're trippin'..

i still remember the first time i went to my sister's place after party. haha..! it was awesome! at first, everything i saw were sooooooooo nice.. the lights, the colors, the feeling, the atmosphere. PERFECT. well... almost perfect. then, i think about one hour after that, i went to the balcony for a cigarette. fazral and man were there too. so, we're like.. talking and laughing.. all of a sudden, i felt a pang in my heart... then i told them, "eh, takut la..."... i was sitting in the middle that time, but they were facing me. fazral on my right, man on my left. then fazral said, "eh.. eh... eh... jangan takut... berdiri.. berdiri.." so i did as he said... i stood up, then i squat down... i did that a few times and i felt better. and then.. we started talking and teasing each other.. i still remember our conversation...

denise : eh.. you know... actually, i miss my sister a lot...
man : ye ke? hmm..
fazral : it's ok la.. she's busy..
denise : i know la.. that's why i didn't kacau her always.
fazral : next time, we go back to your place and hang. ok?
denise : i actually miss hanging with her a lot.. but when i see her, i pretend that i didn't miss her.. ego i guess.. (started to get emotional)
fazral : hehe... you still remember how long we know each other?
denise : of course la!! almost 5 years!! the day we sent mommy to the airport. (paused for a moment... thinking bout mommy)
fazral : yup!! dah lama kan?? *grins*
denise : yeah.. mommy... i missed her a lot too... you know.. that night was the first time i hugged her as a teenager.. (getting MORE emotional..)
fazral : nah.. it's okay.. nanti bila dia balik, you can hug her and tell her that you love her la..
denise : hmm... yeah... (paused for few seconds).. yeah.. and harvey.. i also miss him a lot... you know.. i didn't send him to the airport... (getting more and MORE emo...)
fazral : oh.. ye ke?? why ah?
man : because you don't want to see him leave?
denise : yalor!!! but actually i really wanted to send him.. i miss him...
fazral : it's ok la.. nanti bila you holiday, go find him..
denise : (kept quite...)

after few seconds.. i felt tears strolling down my cheeks...

man : eh denise.. kenapa diam?? (looking at me..)

after a while...

man : eh!! denise... (looking closer...and took off my shades.. ) alamak! eh.. denise.. jangan nangis... jangan nangis...

fazral : takmau nangis..takmau nangis...

both of their hands rubbed off my tears on each side of my cheeks at once..

denise : i don't want to cry.. but i don't know why tears came falling down.. i rememebred harvey told me not to cry. or when i do, i can only cry for ten minutes..

man + fazral : ok.. ok...

then debb came out... gave me a hug and promised me that she'll come home often.. that we'll hang out more too... she asked me why i cry..

denise : fazral la... (put all the blame on fazral..) he talk bout u, then i thought of mommy, then harvey... ish!! jahat la.. (hahahahahah!!!)

i remember crying myself out that night.. after a while...

man : eh denise... ten minutes already... cannot cry...
denise : oh is it?? okay!!! (smiled HAPPILY as if nothing happens and went to the pc station to kacau korkor...)

hahaha!!!!! THAT was my first time hanging out with them.. hehe...

another event that i can never forget... PD rave.. the best rave so far. i can still feel the happiness lingering inside me whenever i look at the photos or think about that night. great.. seriously, no words can describe how happy everybody was...

i remembered what korkor always tell me.. "be rational, not emotional.."

they were there when i needed someone to talk to.. and they're always there even though i know they're not listening when we're all tripping.. but they're always there to make me think less about my thoughts and made me feel good bout myself.

i'm gonna miss them a lot since that i can't hang out so often anymore.. since that i've promised harvey that i'm gonna stop doing what i've doing for the past two months..


i'll miss hanging out with them. The Crack Family.


[music on air]
Imitation Of Life by R.E.M.

[current mood]
better than bad.

[quote of the day]
sometimes, you just have to be truthful.

[next station]
dream?