the day.

so mommy went back to new york few weeks ago.

it's funny how feelings can play ones heart. before mommy came back from new york in april, i missed her a lot. but i never show it. never really expressed it out before. maybe because it's my nature.. or perhaps, i'm not so close to her..

i've always knew that mommy favours debb and desmond more than me. perhaps it's because both of them always share things with her. i'm the more quiet middle child. i think the reason why i'm not close to her is because i don't grow up with her around me most of the time.. i was at the babysitter through childhood. can't blame them tho. they're busy. which, i think, is the reason why i keep most of my problems to myself.

daddy knows about this. he knows who she favours most and less. he notice that. but when he told me "see? she always pick on you", i just told him "it's ok.. i'm used to it".

when she's back here in KL, we argue most of the time. tho most of the time, i prefer to remain silent whenever she starts nagging or giving opinion, sometimes i just can't stand it. sometimes i wonder.. perhaps it's because i'm like my mother. her traits. maybe because i'm too much like her that she started to hate me...

now that she went back to new york, i started missing her. i'm not sure when i can see her again. i've always wanted to tell her that i miss her and that i don't mean to hurt her.. but i'm too ego to do that..

hmm...

i'm worried about dad tho..
i hope he'll be alright this time around..


work is good so far.. nothing too interesting happened to me lately.. just the normal thing.. it's been a while since i went to a club. haha! can you believe that?? now, i prefer staying at home, watching dvd or watch ming play world of warcraft or just lay there and do some thinking then go to bed.

i miss MPH and Kinokuniya.................................