the moment.

ugh.. i don't know what happen to myself lately.. restless nights!!! ugh!! i just hate it when i thought i can rest properly and somehow, SOMETHING always came up and ruin my supposingly good rest... ugh... it's been quite a few days i didn't get 8 hours sleep.. i HAVE to get 8 hours of sleep.. if not, i'll act like a moron... i'll frown hard... i'll get irritated by anything at all... i'll get angry for no apparent reason... (harvey knows all the symptoms of less-than-8-hours-sleep..) i just HAVE to get at least 8 hours of sleep...... ugh!!! okay.. i have to go to work now...


[music on air]
mltr-25 minutes

[current mood]
ugh!!!!!!

[quote of the day]
there are moments when everything is so perfect and so wonderful but you almost feel sad because nothing can ever be as good again..

[next station]
WORK!

bad day...

okay... i wonder why i just can't get proper rest... just when i thought i can finally, this time, really finally, get a really good rest and go to work in the morning with a fresh face... ended up getting a text from my sister at 3a.m in the morning, telling me that her Persian cat, Russ-T fell off from her 13th-floor condo... that was such a BAD NEWS!!! i couldn't sleep after i got the news!! her other cat died in March,the same way too!!! God!! what has got into to both of her pets? i'm so sorry to hear that sad news.. and okay, after that, i couldn't sleep until 5.30a.m.. just when i finally kinda dozed off, the alarm rang... "what a NICE day?" i thought...

okay, so, i reached KL Plaza around 6.50a.m... waited until 7.40a.m for the manager to arrive... (we're supposed to open the store at 7.30a.m... ugh! ) and the other opening partner overslept and reached the store at 11.a.m... how great! -_-: and so.. there were so many people keep on coming in to get their breakfast and with those extremely fussy Arabs and French, it doesn't help to get things done easier at all... so, finally, i finished work and i decided to hang for a while with Adrian (since he's working at Std Chart, might as well go find him..).. we talked for a while then he had to go to work.. and i have to go home.. so, i took the monorail.. damn packed and when i got out from the train, i felt so sick.. then i have to walk for about 500 meters to the bus stop.. and waited 20 minutes for the bus.. felt like puking in the bus just now.. then i realised that i haven't eat my breakfast and lunch yet.. reached home at 6p.m and finally had my dinner at 7p.m... (very very VERY heavy dinner...)

that's not all...... i waited till 9p.m just to watch CSI 5 and i watched halfway when my dad came home from groceries shopping with two of his workers (one stays here permanently, another one overnight on wednesdays-fridays...).. then he asked me to do the laundry.. so i waited till the commercial break and do the laundry.. i was only away for like.. three-five minutes.. when i got back to the living room, one of my dad's worker actually SWITCHED the channel!!!! UGH!!!! i'm like.. "what the heck?? now i can't even watch my favourite tv show at MY OWN HOUSE???" ugh! i'm so frustrated... now, i have to lock myself in my room and blog and wait for the rerun at 1a.m.... -_-: ugh! i wonder what is my status in this house?? that fella was lucky enough cos i'm such a polite hostess.. if not, i'll just grab the remote and change the channel... ugh!!

what a bad day i had.....! i just wish that tomorrow will be better...

i miss harvey!!!


[sound on air]
the sound of the ceiling fan...

[current mood]
devastated..

[quote of the day]
this world is so unfair..

[next station]
guess i'll have to continue watching Gilmore Girls that i've downloaded.. -_-:

i'm so happy!!

okay... i just hung up the phone.. talked to harvey for an hour i guess... hehe... still, not enough of saying i miss him.. and updating him bout almost everything that i've actually e-mailed him for the past month... haha!! well.. things have certainly changed with the absence of him.. well, at least the changes are not so drastic and hurtful at all.. hehe.. of course there will be changes when someone is away.. even though the person is right beside us, things will change too.. how dumb of me, thinking that things will always be the same.. well.. i kinda got used to it now.. perhaps the distance make our love stronger.... and it definitely will make us realise who we really love...

ugh... i'm soooooo in love with harvey now.. and i sooooo miss him...

"will i be this happy if i never met you?"... that's what harvey said over the phone just now.. i'm kinda speechless when he said that.. well.. of course he'll be happy.. maybe just not this kind of happiness that he'll get.. he'll still be happy.. it's just that he's more than happier when he's with me.. hahah!!! so narcissistic... hahahr... but i'm very glad that we've found each other.. i could never wish for anything better to happen to me cos having him is the best thing ever... it's like a miracle.. he's like an angel out of nowhere.. (though people might mistake him as a devil.. lol!!) i'm so in love with this man...

oh well.. i'd always thought that bad things will happen after good things does.. but i think it's time to change the perception.. it's just the way we look at things.. if we look at the bright side, the whole 'bad' situation will totally turn into 'not-so-bad' situation.. people always ask, "what if there isn't any 'bright side'??" trust me.. there's always a bright side.. it's all just the way we look at it.. we think good, it'll turn out good.. we think bad.. then bad it is...

i can't wait to explore the world beyond me.. there's so many things that i have not seen.. so many things i have yet to learn.. and i know someday, i will see it all.. and i know i will live a wonderful life in the future..


[music on air]
i'll make love to you-boyz II men

[current mood]
super high!!

[quote of the day]
we have to let go the past to take in the future..

[next station]
gilmore girls!!!

i'm lovesick...

i miss harvey terribly this morning... i wonder if he misses me and think of me too.. hmm...

boring... going to hang at azuree's place later in th evening.. hmm... i don't know what else to do to make myself feel better.. i'm lovesick!! haha... sigh~ have to wait after my graduation, which is two years to go, only i can see harvey... i wonder what will it be like when we finally meet after so long... i just hope nothing changes..hmm... okay, i have to stop thinking nonsense now...

i miss harvey a lot...


[music on air]
the voices of my aunts from malacca... hahaha!!!

[current mood]
lovesick...

[quote of the day]
be strong..

[next station]
shower and go out!!!

restless night..

ugh... i thought i can get some rest yesterday and go to work fresh this morning... bummer!!! as i switched off the light, my house phone keep on ringing.. and i ignored it, assuming that the caller knows there's nobody at home.. then, my cellphone rang... it was wei leng.. i had to answer cos it was a return call... just when i thought i can finally sleep peacefully, my house phone rang again... then my cellphone started ringing for the second time.. which, both, i ignored cos i'm too tired to even move my fingers... then i fell asleep... and guess what???? i think i slept for two hours, then i heard my sister calling me from the door... ugh!!! her room was occupied so she had to sleep with me... imagine..single bed, two girls... arghhh!! and she slept like a pig!! how i wish that she's harvey.. =P so, when i finally get to dream, the alarm rang... which, i ignored too.. then the second alarm rang and i finally made up my mind not to go to work...i'm too tired to wake up...wait.. i'm not even asleep.. (i wonder how to wake up when i'm not asleep...) just after few minutes i tried to sleep, my dad woke me up cos he had to send me to work.. and i told him i don't want to go to work.. haha!! then, i have to wake up at 7.30 a.m again to call the manager and inform her that i'll take medical leave... ugh!!! finally.... 7.30 a.m onwards, i can sleep soundly until 12p.m..... hahaha!!! woke up and do nothing.. watched Star Wars episode 5... watched tv.. eat.. cook dinner.. eat again... no life... luckily i'm not working tomorrow.. or i'll go nuts...

i miss harvey... a lot!!! it's not even two months he's away.. i felt like years.. but the memories that i had, every moment that we spent together, almost everything that we did, i remembered clearly... i felt like everything just happened yesterday... everyday, i recall back the most insignificant moments... the things that i don't even think that i'll remember last time.. and every morning, i wished to get his call, telling me that he's already at my door.. every night, i wished that he's right beside me, giving me a goodnight kiss before i go to bed.. hmm... the most simple thing reminds me of him.. anytime, anything, anywhere... and just the thought of him makes me smile now..

i think i'm going nuts... hahahr...



[music on air]
don't cry daddy - elvis and lisa marie presley

[current mood]
missing harvey...

[quote of the day]
love is a serious mental disease - plato

[next station]
star wars episode 6....

me and ayrin.. my partner in crime during highschool... 

hehe... 

~_~ 

11th June 2005 

i like this photo... 

gathering...

well.. i went to my highschool class gathering on the 11th june.. it was great actually.. though some of them can't make it.. it reminds me of the good old days.. haha! well.. none of them has really changed drastically.. well.. still gossip like we used to.. still babble a lot like we used to.. hehe.. it was great.. to meet up again and talk bout stuffs.. i kinda miss highschool though..

i've been daydreaming a lot lately though... and i realised that i totally dislike crowds.. now, i prefer to be alone and it kinda freak me out sometimes.. i mean... i'd never thought that i'll be able to BE alone.. and now, i prefer to hang with myself.. stay at home and just lepak... and when i really need someone to talk to, i'll just write an email to harvey and that's it.. or i'll hang with azuree.. i don't really like hanging with other people anymore.. it's like.. so not me.. and i'm easily annoyed with people around me.. i'm getting very impatient with certain of their behaviours and all... things just boil me up easily nowadays... ugh.. i don't know.. can't really control my temper lately.. and it's just weird to me..

[music on air]
stand by me-oasis

[current mood]
missing harvey a lot..

[quote of the day]
those who restrains his lips are wise

[next station]
csi miami!!!

phew~

finally... i cleaned and rearranged my room... well, i've been talking bout rearranging it since like.. forever... and today, i finally did it.. hehe.. what a relief..

hmphh... i felt different lately.. getting impatient and irritate by those things that i once tolerate with very easily.. hmm.. i wonder if it's my hormones changing.. hahaha!!!

well.. nothing much happened lately.. just the normal routines, wake up almost in the noon, just layan the musics playing from the net, go to work, come back, still layan the musics, blog a while, sleep.. hmm.. ok, i need to take a nap.. i'll write when i have the time..


[music on air]
some chillout...

[quote of the day]
telling the half truth is a whole lie.

[current mood]
feeling great.. ^O^

[next station]
afternoon nap~

haha!

poor baby vey had a toothache.. wisdom tooth i guess... i wish i could help a lil.. but hey.. toothache is something that other people can't help.. not even ourselves.. been there.. it's not good.. headaches for two damn weeks.. well.. luckily i didn't catch a fever when i had my wisdom teeth.. hehe.. hmm... hope he'll be okay soon.. so, this explains why i'm having those weird feelings lately.. hmm.. instincts.. :P alright.. i'll go sleep now.. it's already late and have to work in the morning...


[music on air]
usher-burn

[quote]
absence makes the heart grows fonder.

[current mood]
worried shit bout harvey ballz..

[next station]
sleep!!!!!!

blank..

woke up this morning with a headache.. but it automatically went away when i saw harvey online.. hehe.. didn't really talk much lately.. when he's not online, i really wanted to talk to him.. but when he does, i don't know what to say.. just to know that he's online will make my day.. felt like he's just right beside me.. perhaps that's what made me speechless.. haha!

wanted to clean and rearrange my room.. but ended up sleeping the whole day.. guess i'll do it on sunday then.. :P

i still have those uneasy feelings.. i don't know what is that.. just don't feel right.. i hope nothing bad will happen.. hmm..

my mind keeps on blocking and unblocking whenever it feels like it.. ugh...! felt quite blank tho..

sometimes, i wish that i can sleep for years without waking up.. and when i wake up, everything's just perfect.. everything's just like in my dreams.. sweet and perfect.. :P how dumb was that wish.. -_-:



[music on air]
boyz II men-water runs dry

[quote of the day]
cherish and appreciate what you have today,
do not take anything for granted for it may not last long.

[current mood]
i feel weird..

[next station]
sleep..

finally...!

muahahah!!! finally did the law paper today.... phew~ was fucking nervous yesterday night that i felt like puking and fainting... hahahrr!!! it wasn't so bad afterall.. well, i hope that i'll at least get a pass cos i seriously don't want to retake the paper again!!!

hmm.. today's weather is weird.. very sunny around 1pm.. but half an hour later, it rained so heavily... got myself all wet.. it's been a while i didn't walk in it.. felt so yesterday.. heh.. but i think i'm getting sick.. hahar..

i have this funny feeling the whole day... kinda uneasy feelings.. i don't know.. maybe i'm still nervous bout the exam.. but the feeling is kinda weird... don't know how to describe.. kinda dreamy and a lil paranoid...

i'm gonna rearrange my room tomorrow...! guess will be very busy sorting out what i wanna keep and what i wanna throw.. but always end up keeping everything... haha...

okay.. let's just stop here for today... i think i'm getting a fever... sleep now... *snort*


[music on air]
train-drops of jupiter

[current mood]
dreamy..

[quote of the day]
be confident..!

[next station]
sleep...