reality bites.

i have so many things to write and bitch about. but i guess i'm over the "bitching" phase.

i'm quite amazed at myself sometimes. 

at my life.

nothing pretty my surprises me anymore at this very moment. i think i'll just take whatever it is given to me. 

i've learnt how to swallow it.

even if it's a chicken bone, i'll just swallow it.

happily. 

any donor?

can someone show me the way?

i'm very lost.

all this time, i've been searching and striving and searching... for something that i'm not sure of. something that is not there.

Sam (my very good ex boss) is right. i don't know what i'm searching for. 

now, i need to know what i'm looking for. i need time. a lot of it. but i'm afraid that i don't have the strength. 

okay.

i know i can do this. i can face this. yes. i can. 

but when?