When a person lives in fear...

A lot of times when a person is in fear, they react in a way that results them to do stupid things.

Things that hurt themselves. Things that hurt someone else. Things that doesn't makes sense. Things that don't benefit the majority. 

For example, when someone is fear of losing their job, they started to think of ways to earn their bosses' favors. They started to go "extra mile" to prove to their bosses that they are capable, that they are relevant, that they are better than others.

Well, it's not wrong to prove yourself, don't get me wrong. But seriously, there are better ways to achieve it. 

Stepping on others while doing so? I think it's a bit too stupid.

How long you can maintain this?

How many of your colleagues will be able to stand your behaviour?

You need others help to work too. You're not a one-man-show.

By the time you climbed up, you lose everyone else. 

There will be a time where others give up just because they don't see the benefit of staying in such toxic environment. 

What will happen then?

You lose help. You have to spend more time training new people. Wasting precious time. 

So what if you gain 1 person's favor but lose 10 person's trust?

Nothing wrong with climbing the ladder. 

But so what if you're up there alone? 

Nobody is genuinely liking you. 

Nobody is agreeing with you. 

Nobody even want to work with you if they have a choice. 

Why be that person? 

Do you think by doing little things behind your superior's back is beneficial to you?

Do you think you can simply earn respect by forcing your way in, in your "subtle" way, will gain everyone's respect and favors? 

If you really think so, I can only say good luck to you. Wish you all the best. 

Anyway,  I think this whole bad economy situation is making employees live in fear. They forget that THERE IS A STANDARD WORKING HOURS. 

They forget that we are not robots. We need time to rest. 

Not everyone is like you, working 16 hours. Replying emails and texts after 8pm. Expecting others to do the same. 

Come on.. If it's not urgent until life and death situation, please don't make others life miserable too. 

Please stop spoiling your clients, bosses and colleagues. 

Spoiling it for other colleagues who needs their proper rest. 

When To Keep Quiet

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." -Matthew 7:6 NIV

Not everyone will like to hear your opinion or advise.

Not everyone will like to hear the truth.

Not everyone wants to be helped.

So why waste time and energy to force them to listen and agree with you when they are not ready to accept it?

Everything is about time. The right time to say the right thing so you will get better result. 

When someone is not ready to accept it, you're just going to waste your time and effort. It will backfire and come back to bite you.

Why risk it if you know it won't work?

Why bother being the goodhearted person?

Why put yourself in a situation that is not beneficial to you?

Sometimes, it's really better to just keep quiet. Stay put. Don't look back. Don't care.

After A Long Hiatus.

It's been a while since I last posted anything here.

Too caught up with stuffs... mostly work and just living my life undocumented.

Reading back old posts and looking at past years photos got me jealous of my old self. "Was I THAT happening last time?" LOL. I used to be so active, going everywhere, doing random stuffs and I had so much energy. Now, I just prefer sitting at home doing nothing. Yes. Nothing. Well, except for occasionally bringing out my niece and nephew for lunch with grandma and aunts, my life for the past year was just working and staying in. Nothing much interesting happened. It's kind of like a soul-searching year for me. I'll try to document more here, as I find that my memory keeps failing me so it's good that I do it more, haha! I read back some of the posts here and I can't even remember certain things happened. LOL.

Well, work is hectic but still bearable. It's so flexible that I can work from anywhere during prep and non-event days. I mostly work at home and I told myself that I'm taking this as an opportunity to rest before I'm back on my foot again. It's good. After so many years of working in strict-and-full-of-office-politics environments, I got tired and it got me thinking, so what if I made a lot of money but I'm not enjoying it? I'm not happy and I'm stressed most of the time and all we (colleagues) do was to bitch about things that we actually can make changes to if we made our effort and have a little courage to change ourselves. So I made the decision that makes most sense to me. I quit and took the leap of faith. Not knowing what will happen, not knowing if I can ever find any suitable job or if anyone would want to hire me. And until today, I still thank God that I found it. I chose the least favorite option that most people would. In return, I have a lot of freedom in terms of work schedule, working style and most importantly being trusted. I'm not earning a lot more than before, but I gain more in terms of personal development and experience. Many friends were shocked when I told them I took a 60% pay cut. I don't mind it. Seriously, at that point of time, all I wanted/needed was good rest and pull myself out of the bad system. I'm glad that I did. I'm so much happier now.

One year passed and it feels like just yesterday. They said happy times passed quickly. Indeed.

So to everyone (anyone?) that are still coming back here to read my updates, thank you. I wish everyone to just take your time, do the things that you love most. Don't be afraid of changes. After all, God has planned for us in His way.

that little bits of hope.

saw a tiny little glimpse of the light unexpectedly.

just a tiny one.

enough to make me feel secured and happy.

but then, it vanished.

again.

it went all dark again.

waiting.

just waiting for it to come again.

when?

I LOVE Sunrise....!

I Love Street food!

Pork skewers we found randomly along the streets at Patong Beach. Street food is awesomest!

I Love BBQ Party!

organized a BBQ party for my company at Asian Water Sports Village last week. bought some delicious lamb, beef, prawns and i marinated awesome chicken wings! *forgot to take a photo of it cos it's too awesome, busy pigging out*

not much photos cos the lighting not good. pfft.

the boys with our CEO

the girls with the CEO

we had fun despite it was held on a weekday. *dread going to work the next day*

hope to have moe to come!

of enemies and troubles.

I came back from Beijing with mild sore throat and nose blocked for about a week. Not exactly the best feeling, especially when I couldn’t really taste what I ate. But not as bad as Shorty though.. she had a terribly flu and her taste bud went absolute bonkers. Actually the weather lately is super crazy. One minute it was mad hot and stuffy, another minute it gets all gloomy and rain heavily. Almost half of my colleagues are sick. Not sure if it’s because of the Beijing trip or KL weather is just nuts.


Okay. I’m gonna stop talking about the boring weather.

I was gonna rant about a lot of things that happened lately. But I’m too tired to even care anymore. It’s just major waste of time. I know some of you are waiting for my classic “jahdou” and ranty posts (hikhik) but since I told you guys d, no need lah… wait til the time bomb explode again then I’ll write a long one. heh.

Okay.. I changed my mind.

You see.. this year, there are so many shitty things happened to me (luckily not major ones lah). Work wise, it was considered good if not great, BUT… (see? There’s always a BUT) .. there’s ALWAYS a bitch who just like to ruin your good life. Pfft. First, there’s a colleague who like to make my life miserable by making things difficult. But me being me, I use all my energy to accommodate him and try to understand the reason behind his attitude/character and of course, for me, work is just work. So I don’t take it personal and most of the time, I just don’t care if he is going to be annoyed or angry, as long as I get my work done and I don’t mind being scolded at, because again, it’s just work. So after a while, I learned that he was not a bad person after all. Just that a lot of people cannot stand the way he does things and found him unbearable and hard to get along. After half a year working together, we’re kinda good friends/colleagues. Until today, a lot of them still don’t understand how I can get along and work with him. I’ll always remember how mom always says, “if someone treated you badly, you don’t have to treat them bad too. In contrast, you have to treat them better than you already did. One day, they will understand.” And yes, I believe in karma too.

But that was not only it… one enemy down and a new enemy turn up! Wtf.. nonstop cycle! This one is a major bitch if you ask me. I have never met or known any colleagues like this in my 7 years of working experience! Omg.. I don’t even know where and how to start describing her… she is super spoilt as a daughter, girlfriend AND colleague. Seriously.. if she work somewhere else, I think she can’t even stand a day. She is also super whiny and likes to complain every single thing to my boss. Long story. But to cut it, my boss is also another lembik one. I’m not even sure if I want to respect him after what he portrayed himself to be. But I guess I respect him as just my boss, nothing more than that. Cos he seems to be biased and I super hate favoritism between bosses and staffs. I mean.. I’m aware that favoritism is normal, but not to that extend lah… another thing is.. I super hate it when we (all the other colleagues) talk to him, he never really pay attention and ALWAYS have his eyes laying on her direction. Grrr!!! Wtf! my things are not urgent meh! He ALWAYS go to her direction when I’m halfway talking to him!! Damn cibai one I tell you…

If I were to go on and talk about her, I think 3 days 3 nights also not enough. Pfft. I’m damn pissed.

Not only colleagues that are giving me problems… friends-turned-enemy also giving me so much trouble. Luckily I have nothing to hide and things just died after ignoring it. Seriously. Ignorance is bliss. No point arguing with bimbo who act godly and strong when inside, she’s just another vulnerable psycho.

Oh.. and BFFs who are damn stubborn. I wonder if they’re worth my precious time… (no lah.. I still love my BFFs. I’m just annoyed at them for being so clueless sometimes).

And Smelly… he is number one in irritating me. grrr!!!! I cannot be mad at him no matter how hard I tried cos he got a joker face that will make me laugh whenever I look at him when I’m angry. Wtf. he STILL calls me fat and it’s mad annoying lor!!!! sidenote: kena nag for spending so much and owing still a lot. Pfft. But he just bought GT5 for like 300bucks and he have not gotten a console yet! Wtf. who is spendthrift now eh?

I Came Back From Kota Kinabalu With LESS HAIR!!!!!!

so i was away for work to KK for 3 days... we stayed at the Hyatt Regency KK. the hotel just renovated their rooms and lobby..

spacious room!! too bad i was there for work.

i dont know why they gave me a double room.. but i'm not complaining.. heheh...

just join it!

i like the lightings in the room.. look at the basin! *like*

the toilet is open concept.. but just in case you're wondering...

it can be closed...

i closed it cos it has a mirror there. i don't like to sleep with mirrors facing the bed though it's not direct.

but i really i love the room!!! the lights.. the pillows.. ahhhhh....

but one tiny lil accident in the toilet though when i was there...

i was blowing dry my hair and suddenly... zzzzzpppppp!!!!

MY HAIR GOT STUCK!!!! at the back of the dryer!!!!

the funny thing is.. when i knew it was stuck i tried to pull it out but it got worse..

cos i didn't off the dryer... meh. (it keep sucking in the air...)

and it got stuck more. FML.

when i finally thought i can pull it out... ugh.... see how tangled it was?see that crumpled hair there? no way to get it out of the dryer... huhuhuhu

luckily the hair dryer plug point is not fixed.. cos some hotels, even if they have dryer, they made it such that u can't pull the plug out.. wah... if that plug cannot pull out then i really dunno man... that's why, always keep your phone close to you. *ahem*

so.. luckily i have a letter opener!

huhuhu..... that's how i came back with less hair!

I Love Ayam Percik!

went to Kota Bahru last weekend for work and tried their famous ayam percik Yati.

freshly barbequed chicken.

this is the original ayam percik... seriously tastes better than it looks! looking at this photo makes me crave for it again. damn.

it's highly recommended!

to go with their nasi kerabu.

and this daging panggang (beef) is also delicious, but i found the meat a bit too tough. better if it's not too cooked.

the ayam percik's sauce is really different from those that i had in KL before. the KB version tatses more coconuty and sweeter than the ones in KL. i reckoned that Kelantanese food are mostly sweet, so it makes you muak very easily.

oh... didn't get to try the nasi dagang while i was in KB cos most of the shop sell it in the morning, just like our nasi lemak here. if i ever go back there one day, i'll definitely go try their nasi dagang and have another round of ayam percik again!

My First!

first video log (taken yesterday)!! it's my second video, not posting up the first one cos it's stupid. lol.. the reason why i'm doing this is because the internet connection in Heritage Hotel, Ipoh is REALLY REALLY bad. i had to go to the door to get the connection!!! like this!!

see? erghh..

i'm back in KL now. checked out and came straight to office to do some work and a meeting at 3.30pm later.


okay.. this video is actually quite pointless. gah.. go away!

i believe that practice makes perfect! more to come!! bleh..

I Hereby Declare...

Month of June & July a problematic month!
Like seriously… what did I do to deserve such treatment?
Isn’t there enough of troubles/problems coming my way?
At the rate of this, I think I’ll go crazy before everyone else.
Seriously! What did I do?
I’m not the one who causes your miseries.
It’s you yourself who makes things worse. Being emotional is not the way to make me feel guilty or anything okay. It’ll only pushes me further away. I’m an emotional bitch also. Just don’t test my patience lah. Being nice to you doesn’t mean that I have to do things your way all the time. I have to stand for my own rights too. Being nice to you doesn’t mean that you can treat me like a dog.
Have you wondered why people are nice to you?
Have you wondered why I’m being nice?
I’m not being hypocrite. I’ve told you many times that I’m all about the heart. I’ve hinted you so many times that you have to change some part of yourself to make things easier for everyone. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.
Yes, I’m a wuss when it comes to certain things. Yes, I only know how to complain and not take action. Because I’m a WUSS! But seriously… I just want a healthy peaceful environment. I don’t want stupid unnecessary things mess up my emotional wellbeing, especially when it doesn’t worth my time.
But no, you’re a selfish person.
You’re all about talking “positive” and making yourself seems forgiving and all that. But in fact, you are the most selfish and emotional person ever!
Yes, sometimes, shit happens. When it happens, we try not to repeat the mistakes. And we try to improvise certain things when there’s a need. But no, you don’t accept changes; you don’t accept honest opinions, cos when we’re honest, you make us sound stupid. Sigh.
I opened my heart to be your friend. I defended you in a lot of situation when others are negative towards you. I turned certain things positively and make it sounds good.
Did you know that?
Nope.
And you do this to me.
I think I deserve more than this.

I Love Marshmallow Sky!

taken during the trip to Johor Bahru last week.

looks delicious huh?

anyway.. been busy with work lately. it's so stressful to deal with difficult people at work. some people just like to make your life miserable. they like to get in your way and do things their way and condemn other people's way. another word to describe this kind of people is selfish. damn selfish and egoistic that i've lost hope in  dealing with them. my strategy is just do whatever they asked to do, do it their way and call it a day. no point arguing or defending myself because at the end of the day, they will make it like it's my mistake and they are right, other people is wrong.

sigh.

worse thing is, i cannot burst my temper and throw words back at this person cos i'll have to deal with him until end of the year. not good lah right.. SIGH.

Series Of Unfortunate Events in Kuantan

So i was away for an event in Kuantan last week. we stayed in Hyatt Regency Kuantan for 2 nights. a series of unfortunate events happened throughout the 3 days we were there. first, they fucked up my room category, they gavce me a 2-bedded room. -_- it's very scary to sleep in a room a lone with TWO beds!

then, because some last minute group booking from the US embassy, they are quite full and can't give me the same type with my collegue, so terpaksa take one with this view from my balcony....

direct view from balcony.

this is the view from my collegue's room. see the HUGE difference?

the beach.

so after our event, we went for a stroll at the beach in the evening.

it's my first time in Kuantan and to be honest, the hotel is comfy, staff are nice (except for the reception desk, they don't smile. ugh) their banquet staffs are very accommodative,and they have very nice sea view!

ohai Kuantan!!!

they have 2 pools, this is one of them. too bad we don't have time to lepak here.

they also have a very wide spread of buffet breakfast, which consists of western, indian, malay and chinese style. and of course, i opted for the western for both days, because others are just too heavy. this is just nice.

the view from my breakfast table, overlooking the beach. cannot believe that there are 2 people swimming at the sea at 7.30am in the morning!!!

so the second unfortunate event is on the second day, right before i get ready for my event before breakfast, the power supply just went off! luckily i'm not in the shower when it happened!!!! if not, i'll really die cos i'm alone in the room and it's TOTAL darkness! the first thing i did was to open the door and peep out to see if there's anyone out there, then open my balcony door to let the sun light in. phew~

then i went back to my room after my event ends at 4pm, and guess what..... i'm locked out of my room!

stupid door just won't open!!

ugh. first, they gave me the wrong category, then gave me a staircase view, then the power tripped and then my door cannot open!! wtf!!! so bad luck meh!!

then during check out, the front desk screwed up again. some minor mistake. -_- seriously, their front desk people really have no smiles on their face!! don't deserve to be in front desk. can't believe that a 5 start hotel will have this kind of quality.

but luckily the event went well so it kinda compensate on my bad lucks lah...

Hello Butterworth!

been here at Seberang Prai, Butterworth since Wednesday for work.. finally our event ended this afternoon and me and a colleague, Edi, stayed for another night to rest before heading back to KL again tomorrow. we'll be stopping by Ipoh tomorrow for site visit then only home. hopefully will be back in KL before 3pm!! i miss home already!!

our series of event officially started on Monday in KL, then here. supposed we have a total of 15 locations but on Tuesday during the post mortem, our chairman added one more location so we have another 14 more to go!! it'll stretch across entire Malaysia. we'll have an event every fortnight so this will go on until December before i can really rest! phew~

2 down, 14 more to go!! and in between this series, we have 2 more major event in July and August! gee... we'll be superman and supergirl after this!

so im in the room alone, got nothing to do so what else!!

webcamchore!!!

   

 bai!!!!

next stop - Kuantan in 24th June!!!

Summary of 2009

I’m turning 25 in exactly a month’s time. *shrug*

Let’s see how last year went…

Switched 3 jobs in last year alone. The current one is the 4^th. So you know you unlucky I was last year. I quitted my comfortable 9-5 PA job with the most awesome boss, to work in a training centre that promised me an event coordinator role but ended up doing telemarketing 95% of the time. Fml. Considered I got conned right? I think I worked for 2 weeks only. And I quitted without getting any pay. Long story lah. Then I goyang kaki for a month cos I planned for a trip to Bangkok so I don’t think it’s appropriate to start work for 2 weeks and then take leave (though actually my awesome boss asked me to go back and work for him but I don’t want to disappoint him so I rejected his offer). Then, I worked in an event company. The whole company only has 3 ppl working including me. That’s also including the boss. After 2 months of working there, I quit. Another long story. To cut it short, I beh tahan the boss.

Then I joined another company as a PR coordinator. Just when I thought I finally found a good company to work in, a pretty good boss in person, a position that I eagerly want to venture in and not forget to mention the attractive salary package, everything went wrong. Nobody liked me in the office ever since the first day I joined, padahal I already try to be nice and keep quiet the whole time. Just because I know the boss because she’s my dad’s friend. Cibai.. I went through interview with the HR before the big boss interview me lor! And then, I got backstabbed by a bitch. Then, found out that the boss is actually so narrow-minded and refusive (is there such word? Why is it underlined red?) towards unconventional AND honest opinions. Why the fuck you set up a new division to focus on PR and A&P for your company when you’re not ready to listen to honest opinions and thought that I’m trying to talk bad about your product? Pfft! So much of a good person. Definitely not a good boss! wtf! AND not to forget the salary that I got is not what we’ve discussed earlier!!! Super wtf and fml that time lor! After a good talk with the boss, I resigned on the spot without any back up plans for myself. At that point, I felt hopeless. Insecured. Scared. Everything seemed to fall apart. I wasn’t prepared to leave the job despite the stupid salary and the boss and the terrible office politics because I’ve never leave a job without having a backup beforehand! Seriously, that was really demotivating and scary.

But I know I cannot stay in that company for a second longer so I hand in the resignation letter and went home feeling mixed up. Happy because I don’t have to be in that kind of working environment anymore. Sad because I realized that being honest can land you in big trouble. But then I know God is not so evil, because when He closes a door, He will open another one for you. Corny, but true. The minute I printed out the resignation letter, I got a call from a contact asking if I can work part time for a few days. That’s when I realized that He won’t let me die. I didn’t take the job in the end even though I needed the money because I had to work in a pub. No, not that kinda job that you’re thinking. It’s just promoting liquor. The reason why I didn’t take up the job is that I used to work part time selling liquors in clubs and cafe before I quit the PA job and I got tired of working at night and dealing with all sorts of people. It’s tiring to put up a phony face all night. The money was good. Almost double of what I got when I was working as PA. Working hours was only 4 hours a day and I only had to work for 4 days a week. It was actually a job that helped me went through my jobless month after I quit the training centre. But I know I don’t want to end up working permanently as a liquor girl just because it pays well. So I stopped after working for 3 months.

Then, I got to know about my current job from a friend. I attended his birthday party and he introduced my current boss to me and the next thing I know, I went for interview with my direct boss after a week and got the job. I think it was fate, because initially, I was thinking of not attending my friend’s party because I was not working, I got no money, no confidence and I just don’t feel like mingling and tell people that “I’m currently taking a break” when they ask me what I’m doing. Pfft. Damn sad okay every time kena ask and had to lie... But I went last minute cos somehow, I felt that maybe it’ll help me build up my confidence by socializing a bit. =)

So, last year has been the most terrible year so far. But I’m still alive and kicking.

This year though.. things are considered quite smooth-sailing. Minus the family drama. I’m blessed to have a job that I quite like. The Smelly boyfriend is although still annoyingly kayu, things with him are also considered okay. I don’t wanna say that we’re not progressing; I guess we’re being comfortable this way, although I've always silently hoped that I'll be surprised one day. Pfft.

Quarter of my life has passed insignificantly. I hope the rest of my life will be fulfilling albeit unimportant to anyone but me.

options.

I realized that I’ll be 25 in about 2 months time. It seems like quarter life crisis starts early last year and dragged on until now, not showing any signs of retreat. One issue after another. Sigh.

So many things happened lately that I don’t have time to stop and think for myself. Have been busy thinking and dealing about family stuff and it’s really tiring and resulting my face covered with tiny red spots/pimples. So not fun. So after a few weeks of family meetings, yelling, crying (not me), reasoning, banging the wall (not me again. I’m steady, wtf!) and whatever bullshit that we all (family) have to endure, I can safely say that we’ve come into a conclusion and possibly the best solution to our problems. I’m glad that the planning part is already kinda final. Now we’re waiting for the execution part, which involves a lot of commitment for me and Shorty. Heck, I’m not so confident that I can safely go through it.  Sigh. At times like this, I wish wake up blanketed with endless supplies of money. Sigh. There goes my vacation fund.

With all the problems going on and after scrutinizing on my personal expenses budget, which is barely enough to survive, I’m really tempted to look for other options. Better options of course. Sigh.  Yet another dilemma.  There’s an option that will, kinda, totally change my life and I’m not sure if I’m prepared to face the consequences and the change itself. But it seems exciting and probably one of the best option that’s available for me right now. So I’m keeping my mouth shut and fingers crossed before anything concrete is confirmed.

Well, I guess it’s now or never. Mom always tells me, “Work hard while you’re still young. Don’t wait until you’re old like me only start saving for retirement.” Sad but true.

I hope I’m able to support my parents when they’re retired.

What I Miss

I was browsing through some of the old photos and found these. OMG!! I miss that workplace! look at the space that i had. sigh! and the privacy is like super privilege okay!! sobz.. now everyone can see what's on my screen whenever they pass by. wtf. damn insecure lo.. not that i have much secret la.. but i still miss the privacy. oh well.. the things i let go to "pursue" my so called "dreams". why there's always pro and cons la..?

everything is good. well, except for the monitor. :P

but seriously, i miss the telephone, the personal printer (though it's monochrome), the BIG PRIVATE space (though it's not room), the chair (OMG the chair!! now i had terrible but bearable one la.. still..) and the most important thing.. i miss my boss! T_T (though my current boss is very nice too... cannot compare cos both different style. come to think about it.. so far i miss working with 2 of my ex bosses. they are so nice lor.. one is like a brother to me and one is like a father to me.. huhuhu...)

but then.. restricted internet access and starting work at 8.30am is like the only 2 things that i don't miss. hmm. and the jam. omg the jam. (actually traffic here also quite bad lah.. but working hours starts at 9am. it makes a HUGE difference to me).

how i wish my current office have private cubicles for everyone. bleh! 

back to work!

don't bother. total randomness

So I started work for a week already. And I've been such a good girl for the past week! Can anyone imagine Denise reaching office ONE whole hour EARLIER than scheduled time?

Yes my friends… I've been reaching office an hour earlier, which is 8a.m. (almost) everyday. Well, except for yesterday and today (and the first and second day I reached 15 mins earlier cos I still have to test the timing..)  working in PJ is such a bitch sometimes. Though it's near, it seems so far due to the unpredictable traffic jam. The first day, I tried going out at 8.15a.m and reached there at 8.45. the next day, I went out at 8.30, I reached at 8.50. so the day after, I went out at 7.30 and I reached at 8a.m. then I tried 7.15, still reaching at 8a.m. no matter how early I go out, I still reach within 20-30  minutes. So I decided from now on, I will go out at 8.15. just nice. But yesterday, due to the long weekend, I overslept! When I woke up, I thought it was already 10.30! (effects of snoozing) horror I tell you! But when see properly, ceh.. 8.30.. so  showered and rushed out at 8.45. reached office at 9.10. a lil late but it's okay cos half of my colleagues reach at 9.30 everyday.

And today, I thought I can reach at least 5 minutes earlier  but still late 10minutes cos can you believe it???!? I took the wrong road! Supposed to take the right lane after Kerinchi toll, but I don't know why I go to the left and went to Pusat Bandar Damansara instead! Knn. Have to waste 10 minutes to u-turn.

And last Thursday after work, normally the road will be very jam and it'll take 40 minutes to reach home, BUT to my surprise, the road was very clear! Took me only 15 mins! It's like miracle! I thought I saw the time wrongly…

 

Ok.. the point is…

 

KL traffic jams are just unpredictable. I hate traffic jam! Gimme my strawberry jam!(oh.. cameron's strawberry jam is best! I dunno where Uncle Liew got it but it's the BESTEST.)

 

I'm 24...

…and jobless again. 

This year is a roller coaster ride for me. So many things happened and it scares me a little when things happened beyond my control.

At first, it feels really weird and fear was the first response to the series of (unfortunate) events that took place without a warning (well, sometimes with warning, just that I overlooked). But when I really thought about everything that happened, it reflects how my mind works. And how my bad habit affects (some) decisions that I’ve made.

I’ve never really regret doing things that I’ve done which leads to some problems that are unfavorable to me. What really make me sad are the things that people will do and say whenever I faced problems. And what actually people WILL do to benefit themselves. Seriously, some people will just do whatever it takes to get rid of something when they feel threaten with something they thought dangerous when the actual fact is, it meant no harm at all. And they harm others with their actions, knowingly or unknowingly, I digress. 

It makes me more careful of whatever I do or say when I deal with this kind of people. But even I take precaution steps; I still fall into their trap and became a victim of their evil doings. I’ll just take it as bad luck and go on with whatever left of me. Plus, I still believe in karma.

Perhaps these series of (unfortunate) events came haunting me due to the things that I’ve probably done (knowingly or unknowingly, I’m not sure myself) and I’m probably just paying the karma. I’m still considered lucky that nothing extremely bad happened to myself. To me, it’s really just a life lesson to learn. Lessons that I might get to tell my children in the future. Now I understand why mom always nags me. It’s always the same issues that she’s trying to let me know and always asks me to avoid. But being a teenager and a rebellious daughter, I’ve never really listen and took her advises for granted. I admit that I’m still taking her words for granted because it hasn’t really happened to me, yet, but I’ll try to, at all cost, to avoid whatever her prediction was. *fingers crossed*

So back to being jobless this time… so unpredictable and sudden that I almost broke down. But didn’t.

It’s really a long story and not many people agree with what actually happened. There are always two sides of the coin. 

Now, I’m back to the journey of looking for jobs and stressing on what to say in interviews, etc. I’ve always hated formal interviews. Especially the most asked question, “tell me about yourself”. Ugh. Hate that question cos I always found myself tongue-tied whenever I have to answer this question. But lucky for me that the last few jobs that I’ve got, I never had to answer it cos they never asks. Heh.

Ok, enough of rambling. I shall get back to job hunting. Wish me luck peeps!