Tuesday, October 20, 2009

A Tiny Space In Our Hearts

Yesterday morning, I have a feeling that I HAVE to see my bestie (haven’t seen him in a while), so I texted him, “Let’s hang out. Free after working hours today?” I rarely text him cos usually, I prefer calling (texting is mah fan, don’t you think?) but ever since 3 years ago, our phone calls from once a day became once in every 3 months. Wtf.  Okay, let’s not go to that topic. Ugh.

 

He replied almost instantly, which kinda surprised me cos he NEVER reply instantly (sometimes never reply at all.. wtf… and NEVER answer my calls unless he feels that it’s urgent… fml… and usually his instinct are right. A habit that I loathe!) so anyway, he replied, “Meh si oh? Why suddenly sound so serious? What happen?”

 

-_-    do I look like a problematic child? Wtf.

 

After gazillion of smses, we agreed to have dinner. Turns out that he’s the emo one this time. Hahah.. our instincts for each other are still quite accurate huh. After venting out throughout dinner, he finally felt better. We spent 4 hours catching up and talking mostly about how time flies, especially the things we’ve been through together, silly things that teenagers do… come to think about it, we were both so protective towards each other.. Well, unknowingly. We talked about possibilities. Possibilities of a lot of things that almost happen but never did. Possibilities of our future (individually, okay). Those “what-if” questions that we asked.. Those “maybe” answers that we replied. How things changed throughout these 8 years we've known each other.

 

“Where’s my birthday present that you promised?” 


“at home….”


“tiu.. cheat one…”


“Really one!! Uhm… ok lah.. What you want? Faster say!! I give.. Anything also can!”


“I only want things to be like what it used to be”


Silence.

 

I knew it was impossible.

But I want him to know that he’s still very important to me.

 

“Remember how I’ve always wondered how life would be without you? I’m still wondering now..”


“Well.. You can safely say that your life is already without me now. No difference, right? Just that now, once in a while, we complement each other during emotional breakdowns. At least we both know where to find each other.”

 

Well… at least there are still a minute of space in our hearts for each other to retreat to.

 

 

 

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