10 years since the first time we shook hands and said “hi”.
I had never imagined, that time, how that simple gesture and plain word would form a wonderful friendship throughout the years of growing up (and old).
You came along when I needed a companion the most. You were there whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. You taught me how to be stronger. You almost never let me down.
You were not the greatest friend, but you gave me the greatest strength to move on and be who I am. You were not the best friend, but gave me the best opinions and solutions whenever I’m in trouble. You were the worst friend, and only the worst friend would give a smack right in my face and made me realize my mistakes. You were not everything a friend would ask for, but you tried giving all you can to guide me through hard times.
I will never forget the days we spent together as naïve teenagers. The good and bad times I will always remember.
What more could I ask for?
I could only wish for the best things to happen in your life.
I may not be your best-est friend, but I’m sure whatever we went through stays somewhere safe in your heart, always. Like it stays in mine.
Yesterday morning, I have a feeling that I HAVE to see my bestie (haven’t seen him in a while), so I texted him, “Let’s hang out. Free after working hours today?” I rarely text him cos usually, I prefer calling (texting is mah fan, don’t you think?) but ever since 3 years ago, our phone calls from once a day became once in every 3 months. Wtf. Okay, let’s not go to that topic. Ugh.
He replied almost instantly, which kinda surprised me cos he NEVER reply instantly (sometimes never reply at all.. wtf… and NEVER answer my calls unless he feels that it’s urgent… fml… and usually his instinct are right. A habit that I loathe!) so anyway, he replied, “Meh si oh? Why suddenly sound so serious? What happen?”
-_- do I look like a problematic child? Wtf.
After gazillion of smses, we agreed to have dinner. Turns out that he’s the emo one this time. Hahah.. our instincts for each other are still quite accurate huh. After venting out throughout dinner, he finally felt better. We spent 4 hours catching up and talking mostly about how time flies, especially the things we’ve been through together, silly things that teenagers do… come to think about it, we were both so protective towards each other.. Well, unknowingly. We talked about possibilities. Possibilities of a lot of things that almost happen but never did. Possibilities of our future (individually, okay). Those “what-if” questions that we asked.. Those “maybe” answers that we replied. How things changed throughout these 8 years we've known each other.
“Where’s my birthday present that you promised?”
“at home….”
“tiu.. cheat one…”
“Really one!! Uhm… ok lah.. What you want? Faster say!! I give.. Anything also can!”
“I only want things to be like what it used to be”
Silence.
I knew it was impossible.
But I want him to know that he’s still very important to me.
“Remember how I’ve always wondered how life would be without you? I’m still wondering now..”
“Well.. You can safely say that your life is already without me now. No difference, right? Just that now, once in a while, we complement each other during emotional breakdowns. At least we both know where to find each other.”
Well… at least there are still a minute of space in our hearts for each other to retreat to.
started new job for a week and i can see that i'll be very very busy from now onwards. though the company is small, i know that i can learn a lot from there. hopefully everything will go smoothly for me. i cannot let myself and everyone around me down again. especially those who are close to me. especially my ex boss. especially Smelly. i cannot afford to hurt them again and again, seeing me go aimlessly not knowing my direction even though i'm already holding a map and compass. i cannot fail them endlessly. i cannot waste my time anymore. cos i'm not young already. i've got wrinkles forming in the corner of my eyes. fine lines are more visible on my neck. back is getting hurt from sitting too long in the office. sigh! signs of aging..
oh.. last weekend we had farewell dinner for Gary and Joyce. they're migrating to NZ. hope they will have a wonderful new life there. photos coming up soon... IF i have the time to arrange it.
went for a drink and some shopping with Ann. omg... it's been like.. a year since we last went out. good to know that we've not drifted apart, like most best friends do after a while not seeing each other. i'm so glad that i've wonderful besties. two is enough for me... quality is always more important than quantity ;)
p/s: ann, we should hang out more often yea?
Today is a special day.
A day filled with celebration, endless text messages and phone calls with all the best wishes.
For all the years we’ve known each other, there was never a year that I have forgotten this day. Ironically, there was never a year that we celebrated together, for many reasons. Being your best friend, I totally accept and understand all those reasons and totally not minding a belated birthday dinner with you.
Because you are my best friend. Best friends do not always need to come first. You know we’re always with each other despite the physical absence.
Dear you,
Happy Birthday.
I felt better talking to you.
I know you’ll always be there when I need a listener. When I need someone to remind me to stay rational. You never fail to lend your shoulder. Every time.
I know you’ll keep me sane.
Though sometimes, we may be drifted apart by our busy lifestyle, I’m happy to know that we’re still familiar with each other.
I’ve once thought that our transparent line has been replaced with a thick bold line, I’m glad that we hadn’t even come to a dotted fine line.
I might not always agree with what you said, but I admit that your words definitely have a strong impact in my decision-making and you reminded me how to look at things in different perspective.
Today, I’m reminded of how blessed I am to have you as my friend.
Today, I realized that I’m not alone.
Today, you made me to smile. Because I’m assured that I still have you.
