Last Friday (11th Dec 2009) was another day for me to remember. It was a day that I'll remember to be good to my parents. To my family members. To people that I care. To my friends. To appreciate them while they're all still here. Last Friday, was the day I lost my gramma. 2 weeks ago was the last time I saw her, smiling at me, even though I knew that she don't remember my name. Just 2 weeks ago, I told dad that she looked healthier than before. He told me it's because of a supplement that she took for a while now. Yes, we all saw some improvements cos she looked healthier and she actually answered us back when we ask her the most asked question, "have you eaten?", she will smile and say "yes, eaten", unlike the usual don't-bother attitude and pretend not listening.
Yes, I was sad. And I cried when I heard the news. I cried because I planned to see her in the afternoon but she left in the morning. But I didn't cry in front of her. I know she's happier where she is now. Besides family members, the only person who cries nonstop was my maid who took care of her for almost 2 years. She bathed her, slept with her, watched tv with her, fed her and accompanied her every single day. Every time we do prayers and every time she looks at gramma lying lifeless in the coffin, she will burst into tears. She cried for 2 days, day and night. And when we mentioned gramma, she will look very sad. I think it's normal for her to felt this way. It's like losing her family member too.
photo taken in June 09. i asked her to smile for the camera
I remember writing about her broken hips early this year and how her Alzheimer's got worse than ever and we're all ready for her departure. But just few weeks ago, I thought she'll have more time. But I guess her time is really up. She went to a better, happier place, without sickness, without ill-memories. I remember just few months ago, every time I sit down and look at her, my heart aches. Tears fell down uncontrollably. And I always wished that she still remembers my name. I guess she stopped trying to remember anything. Perhaps remembering is harder and more depressing than forgetting.
i took these photos in May and wrote something about gramma, but it's still in the draft until now. hmm.
i hope gramma found her happiness.
3 comments:
So sorry to hear about your grandma. Never tell me wan. Don't be so sad ar. *Hugs*
not sad anymore. =)
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