fuck!! love is really blind...

all this while, what i tried to do is to make him happy.... and now... what do i get?? mistrust.. (never mind).. scolding... (that's his nature... ego.. -_-") .. we loved each other more than anything in this world, we know that... but just because of some stupid stuff.. it ruined everything... i cherish this love.. i never regret those things that i've sacrificed just to be with him.. because i know one thing.. "you lose some, you gain some"... i've been trying to save and keep this relationship... but seems like its beyond my control... the more i care, the worse it gets...

everytime i think of the days without him, i became so weak that i couldn't even think properly... i'm so used to having him around me all the time.. each and every possible seconds, minutes, days... i don't mind if he doesn't trust me... as long as i'm doing the right thing.. it doesn't matter anymore.. i don't mind if he scold me every possible chances that he get.. cos i know he'll be okay after a while.. cos i know it's his temper.. it's him... i don't mind if he never calls.. cos i know that he's busy.. cos we see each other everyday..

i just want to be loved.. to be protected.. to be appreciated.. i'm a human.. i have feelings too... the most important thing is.. i'm a girl.. i love to be pampered too...! i know i'm not as weak as it seems... but i can't pretend to be strong when i'm not feeling strong at all...! i always thought that i can handle my emotions well.. but i'm wrong.. i became so weak now...

why i have to sit here and cry all night when i supposed to sleep soundly and wake up in the morning, pretend that nothing has happened?? only one answer to this question... is that i really love him and i'm not ready to let it go.... i don't think i'll be able to let it go... call me stupid, call me idiot... it's love that made me what i am now..


[music on air]
R.E.M-Imitation Of Life..

[current mood]
super down

[quote of the day]
like i said earlier... you lose some, you gain some

[next station]
dreamland... my world..