Ching Ming aka Grave Sweeping Day.

Throat inflammation again. It hurt so bad every morning when I woke up. A bit itchy too.

I think it’s because I haven’t had enough proper rest lately.

Coughing badly too. But no phlegm came out.

Oh.. and this “package” comes with constant headache too. I think it’s what Chinese always refers as: “gah foh” direct translation: fake fire? I’m not sure what it’s called in English. Do they even have a term for it at the first place? Ugh.. never mind.

Went to Mambau, I think it’s between Seremban and Port Dickson, to visit my Grampa’s grave on Saturday because Ching Ming ,the day we visit graves of our ancestors to clean their tombs. Dad told me and brother it’s their “New Year”, cos for us, we clean our house for Chinese New, so we have to sweep the grave as clean as possible too..

We departed at 6.30a.m, and reached there around 7.45a.m. There were so many people there compared to last year we went. Dad told it’s because last year, we went a month earlier cos it’s the first year Grampa “celebrated” Ching Ming. Last year, there were some Indonesian workers there offering to clean the graves for us (for RM50), but this year, we saw no signs of them. Perhaps they’re busy with other graves. Dad told us it’s a tradition that we need to pass on to our next generation next time. Dad doesn’t really know the complete (and original) ritual cos Grampa came from China and our ancestors are all buried in China. We just simply brought some food and a bottle of Guinness Stout (Grampa’s favourite)for offerings and also some stuff (clothes and “hell money”) that we burn for Grampa. Some people there even brought firecrackers and burn it in front of their ancestors’ grave. It’s really like a celebration.

It’s a believe that praying to our ancestors (most Chinese have an altar for ancestors besides other Gods statues at home) brings good luck to next generations. Dad told me that his brother in China (different mother) who prays to our ancestors and clean their graves during Ching Ming, is doing very well now, compared to another brother who doesn’t. It’s kinda sad that dad never been to China for a visit to our ancestors’ graves as most people usually will go back to their origin country for a visit. At least we (the next generation) knows where our ancestors were buried.

Ming’s mother told me that only the sons can go for Grave Sweeping. Married daughters are not allowed to go, unless they had the permission from their brothers (which I personally think it’s a ridiculous rule). I asked why is it so? Married daughters are still family too, right? She said because married daughter doesn’t carry the same surname anymore, also, they believe (and afraid) that the good luck will be taken away by the daughters. Wtf? Ridiculous, no? I think it is nonsense. I asked my dad the other day and he said for him, it’s okay to have his sisters to visit Grampa. The more the merrier. That tradition/rule is for selfish people to follow/believe. Which, I agree totally. How can you ban married daughters to visit their ancestors? It’s so unfair. And what if that family doesn’t have any sons? Damn sad right?

So back to my story… we reach there quite early but still it’s flooded with people. Luckily the sun is not up so high yet when we reached and still covered by the higher ground so it’s still not too hot. This year, only three of us went. Dad, Desmond and I. (Last year, we had Debb, Fazral and Ben with us). After we finished cleaning, offering and praying, we ate the food. Hehe.

Being the first year cleaning the grave ourselves, we didn’t know what compulsory tools to bring, so we used plastic bag as gloves and newspaper as broom to sweep it. Next year, we’re gonna bring gloves, mini broom/brush and maybe a shovel. We passed by a grave planted with those nice grass, which is quite beautiful. I wanted to take some photos for this visit, but then only realized that I forgot to bring camera and left my phone at home.

Speaking of photos, there are still quite a number of photos sitting in the memory card cos the card reader is spoilt. Oh.. I splurged last weekend too. Gah! But I think it’s a necessity and I don’t really feel bad about it. Report after I get a new card reader.