three piggies... 

with yap kok wee... 

best bro, kee sin.. 

with my daddy 

with my gramma 

with my grampa 

trust and honesty..

i've learnt that sometimes, in some situation, all we have to do is do things according to our instinct. well, not all instincts are totally accurate, but then again, the very first thing that goes through our mind is actually the best option. it's just that we didn't really notice that sometimes. but then, following our instinct doesn't mean that we're impulsive.. i mean.. it's totally different from being impulsive.

i've also learnt that the most important element in a healthy relationship is trust and honesty.. i AM lucky to have a partner who trusts me.. well, at least that is what i saw in him. you see, when i know that he trusts me, i'll automatically be very honest and tell him everything without having to worry about anything. i mean, not that i don't have to worry bout ANYTHING, it's just that... i don't have to bother to hide things away from him because anyhow, he'll find out himself that i didn't tell him the whole truth or that i missed out on some point. hehe.. he don't even have to ask me what's going on or whatsoever.. he knows that i'll tell him anything and everything without having to trouble himself to ask me.. he knows that i can't lie to him cos i'm really suck at lying in front of him. plus, when you hide things from your partner, trust me, your heart doesn't feel good.


[music on air]
mariah carey-through the rain

[current mood]
happy.......!!! ^O^

[quote of the day]
just be positive and confident..

[next station]
cut onions... sobz... sobz...

i love you, mommy!!

i just got back from work.. went to dinner with mei keng... kinda tired though..

it's Mother's Day.. called mommy just now.. but only talked for 2 minutes.. i miss her so much! feel like hugging her now... it's been four years... and i still remember hugging her for the first time as a teenager.. it's on the day she's flying to NY.. THAT was the first time i hugged her real tight.. and i miss it now.. i realised that i actually miss mommy a lot... sometimes, when all i need is a hug from a mother, but i couldn't do it, i feel hopeless... i looked around me this afternoon... almost everyone on the road is with their moms... spending this special day together.. how i wish mommy is here now.. so that i can give her a big hug... i believe that no other feelings in this world could replace the feeling of being in a mother's arms... no matter how old we are, when we're in her arms, we'll still feel like a small kid.. and i want to have the feeling once again.. and it's true that people just won't realise how important a person is until they're far away from us... my mommy is really important to me.. and i appreciates everything that she did for me.. for the family.. and when i couldn't even give a hug to my mommy now, i wish that everyone who's with their mother on this special day will at least give a big hug and a big kiss to their mother..cos trust me, you'll miss the feeling of a mother's hug when she's far away from us one day... don't take her for granted though she's always there.. i'll hug and kiss my mommy goodnight everyday if she's with me now..but she's so far away from me... love and appreciate your mother.. tell her that you love her.. not only on Mother's Day.. tell her everyday.. trust me, it'll make her day..


[music on air]
yellowcard-only one

[current mood]
missing my mommy.... and disappointed with vey..

[what i want to tell the world]
it takes less than a minute to say, "mom.. i love you" and kiss her..

[next station]
layan emo...

...

why didn't i just hold his hand and say that i really want him to stay longer?

why didn't i just hug him real tight and say that i'll miss him a lot?

why didn't i just look into his eyes deeply and say that i really love him?

why didn't i do all of that?

i still don't know the answer...



[music on air]
almost here-brian mcfadden & delta goodrem

[current mood]
confused

[next station]
layan emo...

[phrase of the day]
BE STRONG!!

free at last!!!

FINALLY!!!!!! i finished up the accounts assignment....!!!!! harhar!!!! sOOoOOooOO relieved!!!!! la la la... wakakakakakka... ekekekekke.... gee... i really feel so damn happy man!!! oh well.. at least i have less things to worry about now... i'll just have to revise for my exams... ugh... okay.. don't talk bout exams now... it's a month away...

so... let's see.... party this weekend?? harhar!!! yeah... probably.... it's been a while i didn't enjoy and relax myself...

hmm... life really changes without the presence of my love... i felt that i'm getting more mature now.. well, at least i started to use my brains to think.. though he's so far, i know that i'm always in him.. everything i do, everywhere i go, i made a promise to myself that i'll inform him, to keep him update on what's going on with my life here.. i know many of my friends, including my family, thought that long distance wouldn't work.. i really wanted to prove that what they said was wrong.. i have never be so certain bout love.. bout what i do.. but this time.. i'm so very sure.. i know it'll work out.. i know it will...

i hope i will not lose what i'm having now.. i hope that i can keep it forever and never have to let go.. and i'm sure that i don't have to...

i've been through a lot.. and i've had enough of all those things that i don't deserved.. i can't afford to be deceived again.. i can't afford to be betrayed... i can't afford to be hurt.. and i can't afford to lose again...

i pray every night for my love to be strong.. i pray for my love to only grow.. and i really hope that God heard my prayers..



[music on air]
spin-lifehouse

[current mood]
so damn relaxed!!!!

[next station]
tv time....

[quote of the day]
absence makes the heart grows fonder

woo hoo!!!!!

whoa... what a tiring day!! slept at 5 this morning and have to wake up at 9 to hand in the assignment at college... just woke up from my sweet dreams... it's been a few days i didn't get proper sleep... slept like a pig this afternoon... but still not enough... heh...

oh well.. it's a relief that i finished the law assignment at last... shouldn't have procrastinated...

can't be too relax cos i still have to hand in accounts assignment on friday! haha!! oh well.. it's a lesson to learn.. NEVER PROCRASTINATE..

hmm... things are going on fine for me i guess... got a lil distracted by what rahimie tried to do and prove.. but the rest of the things are going on quite smoothly..

i felt happier now.. have never been so firm and certain in my life.. thanks vey for the guidance.. he's my friend.. my good friend... my shoulder to cry on.. my never-get-bored listener... a very patient advisor.. a person who can make me smile easily by just being there.. my soulmate, perhaps?? :)

just when i thought my hope to NY is gone, daddy told me that we MIGHT be going there end of this year if everything is going on smoothly... la~la~ we're going there for Christmas!!! woo hoo!!! watch out New York.. denise is coming....!! la~la~



[music on air]
some trance...

[current mood]
i feel like partying all night!!!

[phrase of the day]
NEVER EVER lose hope and confidence.. it's important..

[next station]
TV time?? hehe...

ark...

hmm...life is tough... hmm... talked to mom yesterday... she nagged for half an hour on the phone... hmm... she's got her point there anyway... but i hate it when she doesn't want to understand me... always jump into her own conclusion... but it's okay... i don't really listen anyway... hehe...

well..i guess i'll have to let go my dream... which is going to New York.... mom said she can't support my fees and she'll probably come back to Malaysia end of this year.. i don't know what to do now... perhaps i should listen to her.. study here work for a while, then go up... hmm... well... maybe she wants me to study here, work here, get married here and die here.... :P i really don't want to stay here anymore... well, you can say that i'm avoiding things.. but that's the best way that can make me forget everything and go on with a new life.. but then again... life IS ironic........ perhaps i should really stay here until i'm really ready to leave...

i just want to find my life... and my love.... silly, huh?? well.. that's denise...




[music on air]
keane - somewhere only we know

[current mood]
normal...

[next station]
class!!!!!

happy!!!!!

well.. it's been almost a month i didn't write this... well... a lot of things happened this month.. i realised so many things that i didn't even noticed before.... i've discover a lot of things... good things, of course.. :)

i've finally let go a precious thing.. i mean.. it used to be precious to me... but it's not anymore.. i broke up with rahime.. and i'm happy bout it... i don't have to suffer anymore.. well, why should i hold on to someone who doesn't trust me? and take me for granted? and doesn't even appreciates me?? i finally understand the fact... i won't be happy if hold on to it... well, maybe my presence DOES bring happiness to other people.. but if i'm not happy when i'm trying hard to please other people, why still doing it, right? i've learnt a lot for the past month.. A LOT! i've learnt the meaning of true love.. i've discover that trust is really the most important thing in a relationship.. i need someone who understands me... someone who really care,not only for me, for my future as well... someone who trusts me... someone who appreciates me... not a person who take me for granted... not someone who treats me like a punch-bag...

when it's time to let go, we've got no choice but to let go.. well, letting go is one way of saying "I LOVE YOU".. heh... now, i'm so sure and certain that i'm ready to let go... they always asked me to look forward and not to hold the past to live... the past might be a sweet memory.. but if it hurts, then i must not let it haunt me... and i'm ready to look forward... to be a better person.. to be a lil wiser... to be more confident..

someone DID changed me... taught me to be more confident.. someone who loves me.. someone who appreciates me... someone who trusts me... someone who have faith in us... someone who's also not around..

i'm a happier person now.. i know what i'm doing is right for me.. i'm ready to grow up... i'm ready to turn 20... *wink*


[music on air]
uhm... something from the cd vey gave me...

[current mood]
la~ la~

[next station]
dreamland!!!

[quote of the day]
no turning back..

a long journey... 

*uh-hum*

life is funny... when i thought everything isn't going the way it should be, there's always something happened to make me realised that actually everything's okay..

i know there are things i did when i shouldn't do it... there are also things that i'm doing when i'm not supposed to do.. well.. it's true that i still can't pull myself together.. i still can't think the way i should be thinking.. something just pulled me back from the reality... i admit that i'm still confused with myself.. i'm not confident.. i've always thought that things aren't getting right for myself.. things aren't getting alright at all... i don't dare to be confident.. i don't even dare to be myself anymore..

perhaps i tried too hard to make other people happy.. and at the end of the day, it started to hurt..someone asked me.. "what's the point of making other people happy when you have to be sad??" well.. my question to myself will always be this.... "what's the point of being happy when everybody's going to be sad??" hmm..

sometimes, things happens without a warning... and i'm learning to face it.. i've always believed that things happens for a reason.. and we'll know the reason after we face the problem, not running away from it..

but there are times that we can't do anything bout what happened.. things just HAPPEN.. it's just the matter of how you would want to deal with it..

well.. there are too many things happened to myself lately that i can barely breath.. too many things happened that i really feel like running away from everything... or maybe stop everything from moving on further...



[music on air]
Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles

[current mood]
"mood-less" *wink*

[phrase of the day]
BE FIRM

[next station]
work... ugh...! -_-: