I Love Phone Calls!

was busy the whole day yesterday. totally forgot about Monday Loves..

my Monday is complete with a phone call from my love..



dy : hello?? hello??

♥ : eyo?

dad on the other side : call yi yi....

♥ : yiiiiiii yiiiiiiii!

dy : hi!!!! i love you......

♥ : i wurve you...

dy : Choi Yi guai guai ah... ok? bye!!!!!

♥ : k... bai!!

she's more verbal on the phone now. ♥ ♥ ♥

                      old photo of SiKenit. her trademark. ♥ ♥ ♥

Summary of 2009

I’m turning 25 in exactly a month’s time. *shrug*

Let’s see how last year went…

Switched 3 jobs in last year alone. The current one is the 4^th. So you know you unlucky I was last year. I quitted my comfortable 9-5 PA job with the most awesome boss, to work in a training centre that promised me an event coordinator role but ended up doing telemarketing 95% of the time. Fml. Considered I got conned right? I think I worked for 2 weeks only. And I quitted without getting any pay. Long story lah. Then I goyang kaki for a month cos I planned for a trip to Bangkok so I don’t think it’s appropriate to start work for 2 weeks and then take leave (though actually my awesome boss asked me to go back and work for him but I don’t want to disappoint him so I rejected his offer). Then, I worked in an event company. The whole company only has 3 ppl working including me. That’s also including the boss. After 2 months of working there, I quit. Another long story. To cut it short, I beh tahan the boss.

Then I joined another company as a PR coordinator. Just when I thought I finally found a good company to work in, a pretty good boss in person, a position that I eagerly want to venture in and not forget to mention the attractive salary package, everything went wrong. Nobody liked me in the office ever since the first day I joined, padahal I already try to be nice and keep quiet the whole time. Just because I know the boss because she’s my dad’s friend. Cibai.. I went through interview with the HR before the big boss interview me lor! And then, I got backstabbed by a bitch. Then, found out that the boss is actually so narrow-minded and refusive (is there such word? Why is it underlined red?) towards unconventional AND honest opinions. Why the fuck you set up a new division to focus on PR and A&P for your company when you’re not ready to listen to honest opinions and thought that I’m trying to talk bad about your product? Pfft! So much of a good person. Definitely not a good boss! wtf! AND not to forget the salary that I got is not what we’ve discussed earlier!!! Super wtf and fml that time lor! After a good talk with the boss, I resigned on the spot without any back up plans for myself. At that point, I felt hopeless. Insecured. Scared. Everything seemed to fall apart. I wasn’t prepared to leave the job despite the stupid salary and the boss and the terrible office politics because I’ve never leave a job without having a backup beforehand! Seriously, that was really demotivating and scary.

But I know I cannot stay in that company for a second longer so I hand in the resignation letter and went home feeling mixed up. Happy because I don’t have to be in that kind of working environment anymore. Sad because I realized that being honest can land you in big trouble. But then I know God is not so evil, because when He closes a door, He will open another one for you. Corny, but true. The minute I printed out the resignation letter, I got a call from a contact asking if I can work part time for a few days. That’s when I realized that He won’t let me die. I didn’t take the job in the end even though I needed the money because I had to work in a pub. No, not that kinda job that you’re thinking. It’s just promoting liquor. The reason why I didn’t take up the job is that I used to work part time selling liquors in clubs and cafe before I quit the PA job and I got tired of working at night and dealing with all sorts of people. It’s tiring to put up a phony face all night. The money was good. Almost double of what I got when I was working as PA. Working hours was only 4 hours a day and I only had to work for 4 days a week. It was actually a job that helped me went through my jobless month after I quit the training centre. But I know I don’t want to end up working permanently as a liquor girl just because it pays well. So I stopped after working for 3 months.

Then, I got to know about my current job from a friend. I attended his birthday party and he introduced my current boss to me and the next thing I know, I went for interview with my direct boss after a week and got the job. I think it was fate, because initially, I was thinking of not attending my friend’s party because I was not working, I got no money, no confidence and I just don’t feel like mingling and tell people that “I’m currently taking a break” when they ask me what I’m doing. Pfft. Damn sad okay every time kena ask and had to lie... But I went last minute cos somehow, I felt that maybe it’ll help me build up my confidence by socializing a bit. =)

So, last year has been the most terrible year so far. But I’m still alive and kicking.

This year though.. things are considered quite smooth-sailing. Minus the family drama. I’m blessed to have a job that I quite like. The Smelly boyfriend is although still annoyingly kayu, things with him are also considered okay. I don’t wanna say that we’re not progressing; I guess we’re being comfortable this way, although I've always silently hoped that I'll be surprised one day. Pfft.

Quarter of my life has passed insignificantly. I hope the rest of my life will be fulfilling albeit unimportant to anyone but me.

Wake Up

There are just so many things happening lately. One after another. Seriously. When will it stop? We’re all very tired of all these nonsense and to be honest, I’m starting to feel numb. Call me selfish. But I really don’t feel like caring anymore. It’s really tiring.

Everyone hopes for the best of themselves. But how much effort you put in to make your dreams come true and how much determination to make it happen is all depend on yourself. You can dream big. But do you have the quality to live in a big dream? The most rational answer is no. At least for now, not yet.

Many successful people went through a lot of hardship before they became successful. And in our dictionary of successful, it doesn’t mean you have to be rich or famous. Being able to take care of yourself and not letting your family members worry about you is actually the first step of being successful in your family’s heart. We’re not from a wealthy background and since young, our parents taught us to be grounded. But you don’t seem to understand the equation. There are really no short cuts in life. The only short cut is the way to more troubles and miseries. After all the things that happened, you should already know by now, right?

We only hoped that you will become a more grounded person. Think logically. Do things within your ability. When will you wake up? This is not only your nightmare. It’s ours also.

Sigh.

When you're younger...

Yesterday, Smelly's mom was cleaning up and she took out some old photo albums. so i 8 and tell her i never seen any of Smelly's baby photos. then she took out all of the albums and showed me! heh.. When Smelly was a baby, he's so big, plump, cute and fluffy! 

I think this is him when he's a few months old. so big!! and so many hair! her mom told me that he weighed more than 8pounds when he's born!

i think this is 1 or 2 years old. so cute!! <3

oh.. he's gonna kill me if i post it up in facebook. so just to be safe, i post it here...

hehehe.. cute baby.

now.. lo and behold...

a baby girl!!!

WAKAKAKAKAK!!! his sister dress him up in her clothes and he agrred.. wtf!! hahahaha.. damn cute lo.. his baby face is very different fom now. no resemblance at all! like a totally different person!

i think this is about 6-7 years old. lose his front tooth. =p

can you spot him? oh!!! his bestfriend is in there too!!! heheh... Uncle fatty, can you spot yourself???

and then... teenage era has begun!!! i'm sure you'll laugh til you cry..

wtf!! Aaron Kwok/Beyond hair!!! ok lah.. quite acceptable lah...

and then.. when he grows older.......

i'm speechless when i saw this cos i was laughing non stop!!!!!

wtf weh...HAHAHAHAHHA!

i asked him : "WHY YOU KEEP YOUR HAIR SO LONG!!!!!!??? wtf wtf wtf!!!"

Smelly : "ceh.. you dunno only.. it's 'yeng' okay! Michael Jackson hairstyle you know!!!"

-_-

there's many other unglam photos of him.. but i'll save it for another day.. :P

ok. just in case you guys forgot, this is how he looks like now..

muah!! okay.. besides his baby photos... of course i like this the most!!

I Love My Poser Niece!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 !!!!

You Know You’re Addicted To Internet When…

Smelly asked me “do you think we still can receive the wifi in our toilet?”

wtf!!! hahahaha!!!!

he said he very “gap si”.. then after like 5 or 10 minutes…

guess what’s on his hands when he came out of the toilet????? guessssss guesssssss!!!!!!!

I Love Shorty!

 aww... you're my sis!!

Actually Pointless

Asking a man to be more sensitive is a lot harder than asking him to make a million dollars. I really think that the male species are really slacking in the emotion department. Like they never seem to understand the importance of being emotionally sensitive.

To be honest, the current relationship that I’m in is the longest in my history and I can safely say that it’s definitely the most stable relationship ever. I wrote/talked about it countless times – we never really fought/argue during these 4 years of being together. Simply because both of us seems to have an unspoken agreement that no matter how angry we get, we won’t let it linger overnight. He have this “innocent” baby face that whenever I look at him when I’m angry, I’ll “lose” the battle, and his stupid “pan” cute voice will sent me into bursting laughter if I chose to close my eyes to avoid looking at him. If he’s angry, I’ll “pan” cute and give him my “innocent” face to annoy the hell outta him and he’ll give in. see? How to get angry at each other like that?

So after 4 years of comically annoy and “argue” with each other, I feel that it defeats the purpose of arguing and getting angry. Cos now, he will never know when is the time that I’m honestly really very very very angry because he will think that I’m just joking/playing with him. Fml. Okay, to be fair, maybe he feels the same way too.

Okay, I think I digressed.

The reason that I’m ranting today is that.. er..  ok. I’m kinda not so angry anymore compared to yesterday when a super FML moment happened (see how I easily get diverted?).

The point is.. it’s so difficult to get him to be more sensitive towards me. Sometimes, I really think that I’m too lenient. I mean.. I sensed that he’s taking me for granted cos I’m always so easily pacified. I never demand for impossible things. Even if I did, he’ll reason out with me and result that I get is always way below from what I asked/requested. I think I appeared to be a very lembik person without a clear direction and kinda almost always self-pitying without realizing. He always tells me that I’m too easy-going, that’s why people always step on my head/use me. Not that I mind being “used”… if I’ve got nothing to lose, then why not right? So I guess that’s why he also always bullies me cos he thinks that I won’t realize. But sometimes, I need to be angry too, right? I have to protest once in a while too right? At least respect me a bit lah… RIGHT?

See? I digressed again.

Sigh. Actually, I just wanna rant cos SOMEONE pissed me off last night and my anger didn’t manage to last overnight! Somemore have to heat up the leftover spaghetti porkball for his supper. FML. Someone teach me how to become angry already! I’ll give you lollipop in return! 

I Love TVB Drama!

 Watching In The Eye Of Beholder "秋香怒點唐伯虎" 

This show is damn funny lor.. But peks and Deric said Myolie Wu is not suitable to play Chau Heong charector. I agree half. i think it's her hair lah.. not nice. but the show is funny lah. very relaxing to watch. gonna buy the DVD and continue tonight!

Actually Simple Recipe : Chicken Chop

So last Sunday, I decided to cook spaghetti porkball and chicken chop cos we still have like 3 cans of pasta sauce in the fridge. Heh.. Bought it for the last cookout cos it's buy 2 free 1 promo, I think. Sucker at promo grocery stuff.. Meh..

As usual, I'm a lazy cook. So here's a very easy recipe...

Ingredient for chicken chop:
- Boneless whole drumstick. (Ask the them to remove it if u buy from wet market. If not, I think supermarket sells it)
- HP sauce
- Teriyaki sauce
- Shallot juice
- Ginger juice
- Flour

I marinated 5 pieces of chic chop with (estimate measurement) 5tbl spoon of HP sauce and Teriyaki sauce, half bowl of shallot and ginger juice (blend/mash approx 10 shallots & one ginger for the juice. If you're lazy, you can skip this ingredient). Add a dash of pepper and put in the fridge for at least 2-3 hours before frying it with minimal oil (can grill if you have griller).

Tips: Before frying the chicken, put some flour on it so that it won't turn black so easily.


Easy right?

with spaghetti porkball and mixed vege as sides.

Have I mentioned that it's cheap too? 5 boneless chicken from wet market only costs RM15. So go figure how much money you're actually wasting when you eat out!

Next cookout probably this weekend at Tockie's place with Joanne ! can't wait!

FUCK AEON CREDIT SERVICES!

Ok. Today is the most ridiculous day ever! If you follow me on twitter, I’ve tweeted this morning, “niamah Aeon credit service's customer service rep is fucking rude!! hah! eat my complain letter!!! knn! damn angry!” and after half an hour, “complain letter and cancellation form emailed! feels so good to possibly destroying a CS good day!”.

The whole story is liddis…

Last month, I went to Aeon credit centre in Mid Valley to make a full settlement and cancel both of my cards with them. But the guy suggested that I cancel one card first because there’s still unbilled outstanding balance in my other card and he did not know how much is the whole amount would come up to, so he told me to wait for the statement before proceeding to cancel it cos they cannot cancel an account with outstanding balance (a bit ridiculous to me but it’s okay cos different banks have different procedures right). So as expected, I still have some outstanding balance on the card when the statement came. However, for the card that I’ve cancelled, there’s a credit balance due to the earlier credit adjustments that they made (waive of annual fee & replacement card fee). Now, the credit amount is RM70.02, and the outstanding balance on the other card is RM56.63. So I tried calling the customer service number to find out and nobody ever pick up the damn phone every time I called. So after a few days of trying, this morning, my called was finally answered. By a fucking rude rep.

So I asked if I can just transfer the credit balance to the outstanding account, and I asked what is my outstanding balance (at that time, I wasn’t sure how much) so that I can make the necessary arrangement if there’s still outstanding after the transfer. She did not answer my question, gave me an irrelevant answer and sounded as if I owed her a million dollars and killed her family. (actually when she answered my call and verifying me with 7,SEVEN,TUJUH,CHAT,SHICHI questions (wtf right!), she already sounded damn “mm loi farn” but I just kept quiet.

So I got agitated and said, “CAN YOU PLEASE WATCH YOUR TONE?” and she was like, “What? MY TONE?????????” damn wtf right! “YES, YOUR TONE. You sounded like you don’t want to serve me. CAN I PLEASE SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER OR ANYONE WHO’S IN CHARGE?” she paused for a while and before she blurted something else, I asked again, “Can you transfer me to someone else? I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE ELSE. Btw, what is your name?” she replied, “MY NAME MAL.”  Wtf!! “Ok, can you please transfer now? THANK YOU” and she said “YOU’RE WELCOME” with a heavy tone. Super pissed lor!

Then someone named Lily answered and resolved my questions BUT NEVER APOLOGISE for whatever crap behavior I receive from stupid Mal.

So I wrote in a complain letter regarding the terrible service that I’ve received and attached with my cancellation form of the other card.

I received a reply within an hour stating that they received my email and asked me to fill in the cancellation form they attached. Sigh! I had to reply “My cancellation form was attached with the previous mail. Please check.” Wtf. I think they are very careless especially dealing with a mad customer.

Then after few hours, which is just a few minutes ago, I received a call from a rep, saying that they received my cancellation form and they will proceed with the cancellation. In that email, I asked them to send over the refund to my mailing address (it was told by the rep over the counter when I asked earlier how they will refund, he said by cheque). But this girl told me that now, they only can transfer directly to my bank account. Cheque was old procedure. -_- so I thought okay, at least I can get my RM13.39 back (I know it’s not a lot but hey, it’s still my money! Can buy a grande frap ok!)

But LO AND BEHOLD! She said, “But Ms Denise, for the transfer to your account, we will charge RM5 for the refund fee.” SUPER WHAT THE FUCK lor! “Look, when I called this morning, your rep Lily, NEVER TOLD ME anything about the refund fee.” I was damn pissed off! Isn’t it supposed to be a standard procedure to tell customers???? But I didn’t raise my voice cos I think she sounded quite nice and it’s not her fault. It’s Lily’s fault for not informing me. Then I told her might as well don’t cancel the card first, I’ll charge the card for the approximate amount, if there’s outstanding, I’ll pay the balance. That’s the most logical thing to do right? Then she said they already blocked and cancel the card. What they can do is reissue a new card for me (for free) and I can use the balance. I was like -______________________-|||

I told her, “Look… why so troublesome to reissue the card for a mere RM13.39? Just cancel my card and leave it. SIGH. I don’t want the transfer. What’s the point? After you deduct RM5, I’ll only get back RM8.39. NO POINT RIGHT? Just leave it.” (by this time, I felt defeated…)

SIGH!!!!!!!!!!

Actually on a split second, I thought of troubling them to reissue the card. But then.. AIH!!!!!!! Just treat it as charity lah.

So now you know how banks/credit centres cheat their customers. I FELT SUPER CHEATED!

My solution to people who likes to complain.

Very often, we hear people around us complain about their relationship, about work, school, parents, siblings, money, children, boss, colleagues, etc. Especially when you’re in the working world full of stressful colleagues, the complaints never stops.

Today, I wanna talk about people who like to complain. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against complaining because by nature, human tend to do that and I’m no exception as well. What I wanna highlight here is people who complains but do nothing about it. I believe it’s normal to whine about certain things or issues, you know.. to let out some stress and forget about it after. But then I seriously cannot stand people who complain about things/issues but they never take initiative to make things better/ change the style of handling it. It really gets on my nerves when they complain about the same old thing over and over again and the worse thing is, these type of people NEVER take advises BUT they are the one who asks you “what should I do?”. Damn hate max lor. You ask me, I advise you then you just shrug and say, “haiya.. I dunno lah…” -_-  damn hate dealing with this kinda people. So after a few encounters with people like this, I’ll just listen and agree with whatever they’re saying cos at the end of the day, they won’t listen to what we’ve gotta say.

Haih. I dunno la. Well, I just wanna complain. But at least I found a solution on how to deal with it.

Heheh.

I Love New Hair!

i was thinking about getting a haircut since New Year but never got the time and determination to do so. the last time i actually trimmed my hair was May last year so it's been almost a year! but still, i think my hair is still not long enough... so anyway, yesterday, i took out those scissors and chopped 6 inches off my fringe. heh.. not so tidy lah.. need to practice a bit. but i guess it's time to make a trip to the salon. hope daddy won't nag me when he saw what i did to my fringe!! bleh.

options.

I realized that I’ll be 25 in about 2 months time. It seems like quarter life crisis starts early last year and dragged on until now, not showing any signs of retreat. One issue after another. Sigh.

So many things happened lately that I don’t have time to stop and think for myself. Have been busy thinking and dealing about family stuff and it’s really tiring and resulting my face covered with tiny red spots/pimples. So not fun. So after a few weeks of family meetings, yelling, crying (not me), reasoning, banging the wall (not me again. I’m steady, wtf!) and whatever bullshit that we all (family) have to endure, I can safely say that we’ve come into a conclusion and possibly the best solution to our problems. I’m glad that the planning part is already kinda final. Now we’re waiting for the execution part, which involves a lot of commitment for me and Shorty. Heck, I’m not so confident that I can safely go through it.  Sigh. At times like this, I wish wake up blanketed with endless supplies of money. Sigh. There goes my vacation fund.

With all the problems going on and after scrutinizing on my personal expenses budget, which is barely enough to survive, I’m really tempted to look for other options. Better options of course. Sigh.  Yet another dilemma.  There’s an option that will, kinda, totally change my life and I’m not sure if I’m prepared to face the consequences and the change itself. But it seems exciting and probably one of the best option that’s available for me right now. So I’m keeping my mouth shut and fingers crossed before anything concrete is confirmed.

Well, I guess it’s now or never. Mom always tells me, “Work hard while you’re still young. Don’t wait until you’re old like me only start saving for retirement.” Sad but true.

I hope I’m able to support my parents when they’re retired.

Actually Trip : Gem Island! Day: ONE - First Half.

So we finally went to Gem Island 2 weeks ago after planning/talking about it since like.. 2 years ago.. but as usual, my plans are normally not supported by a lot of people so i'm considering retiring from suggesting any outings in the future. ok let's not digress. 

so i bought the air tix in December (i think) when Fireflyz are having zero fare so return tix for a pax was just RM90. super good deal okay. and the airport is so near that we can literally walk there.

i was kinda worried that our flight will be delayed after reading so much stories about their infamous flight delays online.

SkyPark Subang Terminal aka Lapangan Terbang SAAS Terminal 3.

sleepyhead.

our flight was scheduled at 7am. we took a cab to the airport and arrived at 6am. initially, we thought of driving there cos it's so near and parking rates is just RM25/day, plus minus, about the same as we take a cab to and fro. but it was raining just before we go out so we decided to just call a cab. 

first time on Fireflyz. 

seriously, i was very nervous cos it was raining and the possibility of having a delayed flight is very high! but since they let us check in at 6am and reminded us that the gate open and boarding time is at 6.30am, so we just keep our fingers crossed and went for breakfast.

never too early for ice white coffee!

and so Fireflyz did not disappoint us!!! we REALLY boarded at 6.30am SHARP and by 7am, the plane took off!!! you cannot imagine how happy i was. so i guess those storied i read online about flight delays are perhaps a lil exaggerated. either that, or i was just plain lucky.

it was still drizzling when we took off and look at the fog!

after a about 10 minutes flying, we saw sunrise! ♥!

to be honest, it's the first time i feel like vomiting when i'm flying. not that i fly a lot, but the journey is really not so er... pleasant.. due to the kinda bad weather when we took off and halfway through the whole plane was rocking and swaying left right up and down. and i guess i'm not the only person feeling that cos when we touch down, i went to the toilet and heard quite a number of people throwing up inside.. 

after one hour flight, we finally reached Terengganu airport. WeiLeng and her bf, Wai Lam (i think it's spelt this way) flew Air Asia and reached 5 mins earlier than us. We took a cab, which cost RM50 per cab per way, and about 30 mins later, we reached the jetty. 

while waiting for the boat.

excited!

seriously, i hoped we had more friends with us in this trip. =(

10 minutes of speedboat.

and we're greeted with a welcome drink! whee!

our room.

i'm gonna repeat again here as i stated in fb and twitter, THIS is supposed to be Uncle Mun 's space, who FFKed us even AFTER he said "ok ok buy buy!!" when i asked him before i buy the air tix for us. he wasted the tix. hmphh! (you still owe me the tix money. i shall charge interest! boo!) 

straight view from our balcony.

clear clear water below our villa. spot the fish.

spot the crab.

so after a few rounds of CW™ in the room with the net.. 

heh..

 we're off to our first snorkel! 

The First "I Love.."

ok. since Mondays are usually blue and this journal of mine is getting rusty and forgotten by day, i'm gonna start a "I Love..." tag. so every Monday, i'll post up something that'll start with "I Love..." 

Today..

I LOVE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!

ahh!!! traffic jam-less for a week! woohoo! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!

Ohai!!

We is BACK!!!

update soon!!

Faces..

Sent from my BlackBerry®

Dreams, House Hunting And CNY!

Okay. I woke up today feeling like shit again. Those dreams that I’ve been having lately really cracks me up. It’s so vivid that for a moment, I really thought that it’s real. But then.. Every single time, the stupid alarm proves me wrong. Damn it. Ok, I admit the reason I love sleeping is because of the dreams. Really! It’s like watching movies. I dream every single day. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t. I dream even when I’m napping.. so.. back to the main point.. I’ve been having really nice dreams lately but when I wake up, I feel damn shitty lor!! it’s like.. “wtf?? It’s only a dream ah?? Cibai..” like that..

Actually, it’s really tiring to dream every night. I’ll feel restless the whole day. Especially like now.. (4.30pm) I’ll feel damn sleepy even though I’m busy working. It’s like going into an auto-sleep mode. But too bad cannot power nap at my cubicle cos the place is damn not strategic. Ugh. I wonder if I’m the only one with this problem.

Hmm. House hunting just begun. Going to view 2 units this Friday!! Hopefully the price still can nego.. cos I realy really like it!!! I mean.. I have not seen the inside but the area is my no.1 choice and it’s not located at busy roads. Just nice lah.. let’s see what will happen after viewing on Friday. Pray can nego at least 10% lesser though most likely maybe less than 5%. =( anyway, if everything turn out well *fingers crossed* it’ll be my first ever house!! Woohoo! Okay, I better stop thinking/talking so much about it.. Scared later jinxed like my Macbook Pro. Pffftt.

Oh.. Happy CNY!!! This year’s CNY feels just like any other public holiday… stayed at home most of the time cos really no mood to go out due to the horrible weather. I swear I could almost feel what it’s like to be a roasted pig!!  and oh… gambled a lil and won some money.. I sense good luck coming this year!! Hopefully better than last year, I’m not greedy.. just better than last year will make me a happy happy girl!

Okay, stop asking already!! I’m not going to get married anytime soon!!

Bai!!

hopeful.

I woke up this morning with the sun shining brightly through the window. It was warm, but perfect temperature. I smelt freshly brewed coffee aroma lingering in the room all the way from the kitchen counter. “Such a lovely day today,” I thought. 

I went outside and saw you, preparing the breakfast. Toasted chicken sandwich, my favorite. I still couldn’t believe that I woke up seeing you the first thing in the morning. It felt so warm, so nice. So familiar. You came to me, held my hand and playfully twisted me close to your body. We hugged tightly, I studied your face for a very long time, looking confused. Not letting go yet, you told me, “Don’t worry okay? Everything will be alright now”, you hugged me firmly. It’s like you knew what’s in my mind. You knew exactly what I wanted to hear. It’s comforting. 

My heart beats faster. Just like the first time I received your text saying you love me. Like the first time you hold my hand. It felt so familiar. So comfortable. So happy. So in love.

We hugged for a little longer. We’re in no rush. We’re both reluctant to let go… Then, the alarm went off….

And I woke up AGAIN.

It was only a dream??!?

How can I wake up in a dream and I had to wake up AGAIN?!??

How can it be ONLY A DREAM!!??!

It felt SO REAL!

I can remember every little detail CLEARLY! I can smell the coffee, I can feel the warmth, I can feel the tightest hug, and I can smell YOUR smell! HOW CAN IT BE ONLY A DREAM!

Ugh. I felt cheated by my own dream.

Time to face the reality. Ouch!