Happy Birthday bie

Choy Seong Ming. Ming. My smelly. Bie. 

You're a man of few words, but your heart filled with carefulness and thoughtfulness that nobody knows or understand. 

Yesterday was your memorial service, yet I couldn't bring myself out to say a few words. 

You would've looked at me from above and said "aiyah.. 唔好搞咁多嘢啦", cos you're not someone who likes to share your feelings. You're not someone who likes to be in the limelight. 

You kept everything to yourself. Even simplest things, you'd never wanted to share with me, just because you think you wouldn't want me to worry with you. You chose to take in everything to yourself. All the burden, the stressful things. 

14 years with you, and it became a norm to me, that you wouldn't say out unless it's necessary or solved. So all I can do is to just be patient, stay by your side and be there. Waiting for you to share everything when you're ready. 

I guess this is the comfort you found in me. Thank you for trusting me.

Yesterday I really wanted to give an eulogy, but I really couldn't. The thought of it breaks my heart so much that no words could describe. 

You left. And all I could do was nothing.   

You left us unexpectedly 5 months ago, without saying goodbye. 

You chose to be with The Lord instead. 

I totally understand, I would've chosen the same. You're now in good hands. You're sitting with Him and surely having a great time now.  

I can only wait for the day we could meet again.  

Today would've been your 41st birthday. I know you don't like celebration, so I'll just wish you like usual instead. 

Happy birthday bie.

Why?

Today is one of those days...

Sudden pang in the heart. 

Just the slightest thought of you, hurts so much that tears couldn't stop.

Today is one of those days that I felt so emotionally exhausted. So much that I just felt like not doing anything at all. 

So hurt that I just wanted to cry it all out.

Why?

Why did you leave so soon?

You didn't even say a proper goodbye. 

You just left. 

We were still talking.. Just within seconds.. You decided you're ready to go? Why? Why didn't you fight? Why?

Why didn't you listen to me before? I've said many times before, go to see doctor. Why didn't you listen?

Why?

Why didn't you stay?

Heaven is so much more beautiful, I know. 

I would do the same. 

But not even a proper goodbye? 

How selfish. 

Porky Saturday

The famous pepper soup pork noodles at Seksyen 17

Impromptu lunch today with David, which by the way, caused me to skip class today cos couldn't make it on time + lazy, not yet do homework + need to fetch Smelly finish work. ok lah ok lah... lazy is the main reason. haha! We hang out for almost 4 hours, until they use the mop to chase us away cos they need to close shop. hehe. But I learned a few things today despite skipping class ;) something that can't be learned in any classes.Thanks David for sharing so many interesting stories today.

Went to Mid Valley after that cos Smelly wants to get a shirt for friend's gatecrashing tomorrow..

Awesome Pork Mayonaise Bento set at Ramen Shokudo at Mid Valley

Ramen Shokudo at Mid Valley is very generous with their serving and flavour. The pork is very flavourful. The plain chawanmushi taste is just nice and very smooth and most importantly, no need to add any soy sauce unlike in Sushi King/Sakae Sushi. Miso soup flavour is just the right saltiness and not thirsty after drinking it. Tried the spicy seafood ramen with pork, also very flavourful and generously filled with meat and vege. Price is reasonable. *thumbs up* Seriously highly recommended by me. hehe. Don't know why nobody eat there though.. we're the only customer just now.. hmm..

For Real or Kidding?

Situation 1

me playing with his fingers while talking... suddenly...

him : iyer.... heheheheh.... *index finger touching my fingers*

me : why ah!!??

him : i just dug my nose using this finger. *poke my finger*

-____________________-


Situation 2
me complaining getting tanned from previous trip to Melaka..

me : so tan hor? eh.. you prefer tan tan or fair fair one? i know you prefer fair fair right right right???

him : i prefer thin thin one... =P

-___________________________________-

why my boyfriend like this one....

CNY 2011 So Far....

Gong Hei Fatt Choy!!!!!!!!!!

年29. 2 Days before CNY 2011.

Smelly's mom decided to cook reunion one day earlier so that i can go home to have reunion dinner with dad. this was the 2nd or 3rd time she cook it a day earlier to accommodate me. so grateful cos she's so understanding and accommodative. 

年30. Eve of CNY 2011.

Dad's turn to cook. notice dad and Smelly's mom cooked similar dishes? hahaha! only thing different is aunty cooked braised duck, dad cooked fish. others all similar ingredient.

ahem!! so right... after dinner, i dragged Smelly out to shop for clothes.. but then he only managed to stock up undewear. pfft. then dragged him to ze camera shop to look-see.

and then....

ekekekkeeee...

i can finally haz ze camera!!!!!

this is 4 years worth of anniversaries, birthdays and valantine's days present (dinners, shoes and cash don't count ah!) so i guess i have to wait for another 4 years for the next present. pfft. but anyways.. i love it max!! so at the end of the day, practicality wins and kinda make sense. okay. don't want to digress.

DAY 1

Started the first day of CNY teaching Eva how to make tong yuen..

 like this?

 tada!

 the making

 Eva's masterpiece! but she don't like it cos she doesn't like soft foods. oh.. and vege...

matching cheong sam that i bought from Beijing... cute right?

after brunch, we went to uncle's place where everyone gather together. saves time and meriah!!

Skyping with mom. lil cousin don't now why that day keep on kissing mom (on screem). haha! so cute! 

then, Skype with Aunt Ming at Melbourne. that's baby Allegra there!

Family photo!!

CW with Shorty.

look! PINK!!!!

DAY 2

we went to Tampin, 3rd aunt's house and then to Melaka, 1st aunt's house..

before leaving.. family photo first!

cousin's daughter, 7month younger than Eva.. she's so chubbily cute!!!!

fuk luk sau.

DAY 3

went to friend's house to.. what else??

gamble lo... lose a bit.

DAY 4

as usual, went to Kenny's place on the 4th day. i forgot to charge the camera so only limited photos. pfft. camwhore's worse nightmare.

played cards a bit before moving on with mahjong... won this time. so breakeven.

kiss for good luck!

this was before Peks K.O.

what's camera without CW? heh!

DAY 5

Annual reunion with Jennifer and Celeste aka Mrs. Zheng!



DAY 6

no photo. grumpy cos START WORK Day!!!

pfft.

Fifthnniversary.

A delayed fifthnniversary thoughts.


Without realizing, five years passed. When I started going out with Smelly, I’ve never thought that we’ll last this long. Considering my age when I met him and especially my personality, it’s amazing how we can preserve this relationship to where we are now.

Things progressed rather smoothly, despite his usual discontentment about my body size and almost out-of-control credit card debts, and my never-ending annoyance with his obsession with gaming and lack of sensitivity towards my feelings. I guess that’s how things are supposed to work.

I used to think that we’re not a normal couple. But after listening to so many relationship stories from friends, I felt blessed and grateful for what I have. One can never be too greedy and keep wishing for the impossible, yet cannot be too contented with what we have. So I guess everything needs balance.

How Relationship Lasts IX

Every night before bed, I will demand for a goodnight kiss and a hug. It’s a routine for as long as I can remember. cos I think it's important, as a reminder of my existence (insecure, I know... pffft whatever...).
Anyway, our relationship is very comical... sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry because we humour each other so much.

So last night, Smelly kissed me (more like his nose pressing on my nose) and he asked... “What do you see?” I opened my eyes, without moving away, I said, “I see your eyes loh..”

Smelly : Got one eye only right?

Dy : -____- ! er.. hehe.. got 2 eyes become one eye!! Crossed d!

Then, I asked, “What do you see?”

He said…. “Ngor tai dou yat gau fan shu… (I saw a potato). Wakakakakakaaa….!”

T_T damn jahdou.

Tell me lah… where to find a boyfriend like him??? Pfft!

I'm Hot!

Yesterday I learnt that Smelly thinks that I’m hot.



Smelly : You're hot.

dy: *pretend dunno* Thank you!

Smelly : duwan... you're too hot!! Go away...

dy : wah…. Thank you wor.. *kiss*hug*monkey face*victory!!!*


Definition of the above conversation: hot; referring to body temperature. By Smelly definition; high body temperature is equivalent to over-sufficient body fats covering the bones to warm up the body.



The end.

of enemies and troubles.

I came back from Beijing with mild sore throat and nose blocked for about a week. Not exactly the best feeling, especially when I couldn’t really taste what I ate. But not as bad as Shorty though.. she had a terribly flu and her taste bud went absolute bonkers. Actually the weather lately is super crazy. One minute it was mad hot and stuffy, another minute it gets all gloomy and rain heavily. Almost half of my colleagues are sick. Not sure if it’s because of the Beijing trip or KL weather is just nuts.


Okay. I’m gonna stop talking about the boring weather.

I was gonna rant about a lot of things that happened lately. But I’m too tired to even care anymore. It’s just major waste of time. I know some of you are waiting for my classic “jahdou” and ranty posts (hikhik) but since I told you guys d, no need lah… wait til the time bomb explode again then I’ll write a long one. heh.

Okay.. I changed my mind.

You see.. this year, there are so many shitty things happened to me (luckily not major ones lah). Work wise, it was considered good if not great, BUT… (see? There’s always a BUT) .. there’s ALWAYS a bitch who just like to ruin your good life. Pfft. First, there’s a colleague who like to make my life miserable by making things difficult. But me being me, I use all my energy to accommodate him and try to understand the reason behind his attitude/character and of course, for me, work is just work. So I don’t take it personal and most of the time, I just don’t care if he is going to be annoyed or angry, as long as I get my work done and I don’t mind being scolded at, because again, it’s just work. So after a while, I learned that he was not a bad person after all. Just that a lot of people cannot stand the way he does things and found him unbearable and hard to get along. After half a year working together, we’re kinda good friends/colleagues. Until today, a lot of them still don’t understand how I can get along and work with him. I’ll always remember how mom always says, “if someone treated you badly, you don’t have to treat them bad too. In contrast, you have to treat them better than you already did. One day, they will understand.” And yes, I believe in karma too.

But that was not only it… one enemy down and a new enemy turn up! Wtf.. nonstop cycle! This one is a major bitch if you ask me. I have never met or known any colleagues like this in my 7 years of working experience! Omg.. I don’t even know where and how to start describing her… she is super spoilt as a daughter, girlfriend AND colleague. Seriously.. if she work somewhere else, I think she can’t even stand a day. She is also super whiny and likes to complain every single thing to my boss. Long story. But to cut it, my boss is also another lembik one. I’m not even sure if I want to respect him after what he portrayed himself to be. But I guess I respect him as just my boss, nothing more than that. Cos he seems to be biased and I super hate favoritism between bosses and staffs. I mean.. I’m aware that favoritism is normal, but not to that extend lah… another thing is.. I super hate it when we (all the other colleagues) talk to him, he never really pay attention and ALWAYS have his eyes laying on her direction. Grrr!!! Wtf! my things are not urgent meh! He ALWAYS go to her direction when I’m halfway talking to him!! Damn cibai one I tell you…

If I were to go on and talk about her, I think 3 days 3 nights also not enough. Pfft. I’m damn pissed.

Not only colleagues that are giving me problems… friends-turned-enemy also giving me so much trouble. Luckily I have nothing to hide and things just died after ignoring it. Seriously. Ignorance is bliss. No point arguing with bimbo who act godly and strong when inside, she’s just another vulnerable psycho.

Oh.. and BFFs who are damn stubborn. I wonder if they’re worth my precious time… (no lah.. I still love my BFFs. I’m just annoyed at them for being so clueless sometimes).

And Smelly… he is number one in irritating me. grrr!!!! I cannot be mad at him no matter how hard I tried cos he got a joker face that will make me laugh whenever I look at him when I’m angry. Wtf. he STILL calls me fat and it’s mad annoying lor!!!! sidenote: kena nag for spending so much and owing still a lot. Pfft. But he just bought GT5 for like 300bucks and he have not gotten a console yet! Wtf. who is spendthrift now eh?

He Finally Got It Right....

so last weekend, it was Smelly's turn to tapau food cos i'm super duper lazy. and for the first time in 5 years, he tapau-ed the RIGHT food for me! i cannot believe my eyes when i saw what he bought. eh.. cannot blame me lah... remember what he tapau-ed the last time? pfft. 

so when i saw all the three dishes, i rubbed my eyes a few times and pinched myself in disbelieve (drama, i know..). for a minute, i thought it was my birthday, then i thought, "hmmm... did he do anything wrong????!!?" . hahahah.... cos lo and behold.... he bought 3 of my FAVOURITESTESTESTEST dishes!!!!

spicy sour soup! 

stewed pork with intestine!!!!!!

vinegar pork knuckles!

OMG! can you believe how happy i was??? tho it's just some simple dishes, but it's ALL my fav!  ♥♥♥♥

but i waited 5 years for this. don't know whether i should say FML or unFML cos at last, he got it right. i don't know if he remembered or just coincidence.. however, i chose to believe that he finally got it right. =)

How Relationship Lasts VIII

so i was chatting with Smelly on FB just now...


dy : bB... today i very good girl. i no eat lunch! good girl mou????

Smelly :   =)

dy : so now very hungry. what are you going to feed me later?

Smelly : the biscuit you bought yesterday.

dy : oi!!!!!!!!!!!


wtf. where got such boyfriend one!!!


the biscuit i bought yesterday is for Alfie!!!!

When you're younger...

Yesterday, Smelly's mom was cleaning up and she took out some old photo albums. so i 8 and tell her i never seen any of Smelly's baby photos. then she took out all of the albums and showed me! heh.. When Smelly was a baby, he's so big, plump, cute and fluffy! 

I think this is him when he's a few months old. so big!! and so many hair! her mom told me that he weighed more than 8pounds when he's born!

i think this is 1 or 2 years old. so cute!! <3

oh.. he's gonna kill me if i post it up in facebook. so just to be safe, i post it here...

hehehe.. cute baby.

now.. lo and behold...

a baby girl!!!

WAKAKAKAKAK!!! his sister dress him up in her clothes and he agrred.. wtf!! hahahaha.. damn cute lo.. his baby face is very different fom now. no resemblance at all! like a totally different person!

i think this is about 6-7 years old. lose his front tooth. =p

can you spot him? oh!!! his bestfriend is in there too!!! heheh... Uncle fatty, can you spot yourself???

and then... teenage era has begun!!! i'm sure you'll laugh til you cry..

wtf!! Aaron Kwok/Beyond hair!!! ok lah.. quite acceptable lah...

and then.. when he grows older.......

i'm speechless when i saw this cos i was laughing non stop!!!!!

wtf weh...HAHAHAHAHHA!

i asked him : "WHY YOU KEEP YOUR HAIR SO LONG!!!!!!??? wtf wtf wtf!!!"

Smelly : "ceh.. you dunno only.. it's 'yeng' okay! Michael Jackson hairstyle you know!!!"

-_-

there's many other unglam photos of him.. but i'll save it for another day.. :P

ok. just in case you guys forgot, this is how he looks like now..

muah!! okay.. besides his baby photos... of course i like this the most!!

You Know You’re Addicted To Internet When…

Smelly asked me “do you think we still can receive the wifi in our toilet?”

wtf!!! hahahaha!!!!

he said he very “gap si”.. then after like 5 or 10 minutes…

guess what’s on his hands when he came out of the toilet????? guessssss guesssssss!!!!!!!

Actually Pointless

Asking a man to be more sensitive is a lot harder than asking him to make a million dollars. I really think that the male species are really slacking in the emotion department. Like they never seem to understand the importance of being emotionally sensitive.

To be honest, the current relationship that I’m in is the longest in my history and I can safely say that it’s definitely the most stable relationship ever. I wrote/talked about it countless times – we never really fought/argue during these 4 years of being together. Simply because both of us seems to have an unspoken agreement that no matter how angry we get, we won’t let it linger overnight. He have this “innocent” baby face that whenever I look at him when I’m angry, I’ll “lose” the battle, and his stupid “pan” cute voice will sent me into bursting laughter if I chose to close my eyes to avoid looking at him. If he’s angry, I’ll “pan” cute and give him my “innocent” face to annoy the hell outta him and he’ll give in. see? How to get angry at each other like that?

So after 4 years of comically annoy and “argue” with each other, I feel that it defeats the purpose of arguing and getting angry. Cos now, he will never know when is the time that I’m honestly really very very very angry because he will think that I’m just joking/playing with him. Fml. Okay, to be fair, maybe he feels the same way too.

Okay, I think I digressed.

The reason that I’m ranting today is that.. er..  ok. I’m kinda not so angry anymore compared to yesterday when a super FML moment happened (see how I easily get diverted?).

The point is.. it’s so difficult to get him to be more sensitive towards me. Sometimes, I really think that I’m too lenient. I mean.. I sensed that he’s taking me for granted cos I’m always so easily pacified. I never demand for impossible things. Even if I did, he’ll reason out with me and result that I get is always way below from what I asked/requested. I think I appeared to be a very lembik person without a clear direction and kinda almost always self-pitying without realizing. He always tells me that I’m too easy-going, that’s why people always step on my head/use me. Not that I mind being “used”… if I’ve got nothing to lose, then why not right? So I guess that’s why he also always bullies me cos he thinks that I won’t realize. But sometimes, I need to be angry too, right? I have to protest once in a while too right? At least respect me a bit lah… RIGHT?

See? I digressed again.

Sigh. Actually, I just wanna rant cos SOMEONE pissed me off last night and my anger didn’t manage to last overnight! Somemore have to heat up the leftover spaghetti porkball for his supper. FML. Someone teach me how to become angry already! I’ll give you lollipop in return! 

Ohai!!

We is BACK!!!

update soon!!

Tiger & Tigress?

dy: Bie........................ i saw a Miu Miu bag... damn nice lor!!! *shiny eyes*

smelly: you buy yourself lah..

dy: T_T i lost my bag wor.....

smelly: uhm... why not we buy................... hehehehehhhh..

dy: buy what!?

smelly: we buy Tiger ! Mini edition !!

dy: -_- why???

smelly: then i can be tiger, you can be tigress!

dy: hmm.. true also.. roarrrrr... grrrrr..........

smelly: yalah.. tak kan i wear Tiger but you wear Converse right?? the shop aunty said Converse is for school kids!

dy: yah.. i wanna become school girl...



sigh.. why my boyfriend so unpredictable one.. cis.. i was talking about BAG!!

How Relationship Lasts VII

bought a new dress for a friend's wedding and happily model the dress in the room..

dy : nice or not??

smelly : whoa!! at last!! you look more like human now.



-_-

can someone remind me why i have a boyfriend like this?

You know he cares when...

I went back to my house last night. This morning Smelly text me..

Smelly: You no work meh today?

Dy: Work ah.. why?

Smelly: You never come home change oso..

Dy: I got clothes at home ma..

Heh.. and I thought he didn’t notice my “disappearance”. Grr.

Happy Anniversary!

i meant to post this up on 1st January, but got lazy and procrastinate instead.

Happy 4 years, SmellyBie!

it's a record for me to stay in a relationship for so long. i've never thought that i'd be able to keep it for such a long time.

to many people around us, they might think that it's an easy one for us. but actually, it's really not what most people around us sees it. well at least, it's not easy for me. i dare not say that i'm very certain of this relationship. i dare not hope for anything right now at this very moment because as cliche as i might sound, nothing is certain. not until the day we die.

at times, i felt so weak that i thought of giving up this relationship just because i can't see what's in it for me. and sometimes, i thought i know what's on your mind, but i realised that i don't. maybe i'm just afraid. but i know i'm not being fair thinking that way. love shouldn't be weighed and judged the way i did sometimes.

don't worry. i think it's just another emo phase.

you still brighten up my days.

you still make me smile for no reasons.

you're still the one who keep me grounded.

love you lots!

tumblring more now.

at times, i wished Smelly has all the characteristics that Edward Cullen has.

damn romantic lor.


*cloud nine*