This Year To Me.

So, I’ve been less talkative here lately compared to previous years. Guess I’ve shifted from writing my thoughts to capturing moments, or rather, my emotions.

Been discovering my kinda-newly-found hobby and it’s really, better than writing. Since most of the time I don’t know how to write it out, now I just post images. Most images might not mean anything to anyone, but it contains stories behind it, at least to me it does mean something.

Years later, I might not remember why I capture those images or maybe, I’d see different meaning behind it. Maybe I’d feel different.

I don’t know.

Anyway, since I’m in a writing mood, let’s see what I’ve been achieving this year. Can’t believe that it’s already December. So soon!

Early this year, I made a resolution. Or you can say, I recycled my past years resolution. Haha!

Hmm. Let’s see if I managed to keep my promises...

- Going to gym regularly. (I actually managed to keep this routine. Until August. Shame on me. I blame it to work and laziness. Haha. Ever since the Puasa month, we stopped gym. Sigh. Well, bright side, at least we maintained it for 8 months.. heh.)

- Settle the debts. (I actually DID settle more than half of it. But then I took up a lifetime-debt commitment by purchasing a house. *dread*)

- Saving for rainy days. (Clearly this didn’t happen. Refer to reason above. #foreverindebt)

- Passing Level N5 of JLPT. (Proud to say I passed.. ngek ngek ngek! Probably the ONLY thing I managed to achieve this year.)

- To finish reading all the 30+ books (I only managed to finish ONE book. And bought at least another 8? Boo! But I’m going to read more now, I promise…)

- To be more focused. (Meh… no comment.)

I guess nothing much changed huh? I’m still a procrastinator and a liar. *boo!

Still don’t have much determination to complete simple things.

I guess it’s right to say that I’ve never wanted something so badly to be determined enough to achieve it.

Anyway, a lot has happened this year.

Along the way, I’ve learned so much about myself.

I’ve picked up a new hobby, met new friends, discovered ugly human characters, getting out of the comfort zone (almost there..), made new promises to myself, found unexpected surprises, giving up treasures, keeping sweet memories and the most memorable experience was being introduced to a faithful invisible friend and I loved all the stories being told to me. It kinda changed my perspective towards certain things.

I guess we’ll never feel blissful until we lose something precious or experienced a downfall.

I can only wish that the coming years will treat me good.

Little Child In Me

I wish I could stay there forever and never grow up.

"Ask And You Shall Receive"

it's a quote that i read from my personal astrological feng shui overview for the month of July. coincidence or what? hehe.

awesome durian pancake

i dreamed about durian and been craving for it since i woke up not having to eat it in my dreams. though it's not real durian, i'm still a happily satisfied having the pancake instead. hehe.

To Friendship.

10 years since the first time we shook hands and said “hi”.


I had never imagined, that time, how that simple gesture and plain word would form a wonderful friendship throughout the years of growing up (and old).

You came along when I needed a companion the most. You were there whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. You taught me how to be stronger. You almost never let me down.

You were not the greatest friend, but you gave me the greatest strength to move on and be who I am. You were not the best friend, but gave me the best opinions and solutions whenever I’m in trouble. You were the worst friend, and only the worst friend would give a smack right in my face and made me realize my mistakes. You were not everything a friend would ask for, but you tried giving all you can to guide me through hard times.

I will never forget the days we spent together as naïve teenagers. The good and bad times I will always remember.

What more could I ask for?

I could only wish for the best things to happen in your life.

I may not be your best-est friend, but I’m sure whatever we went through stays somewhere safe in your heart, always. Like it stays in mine.

options.

I realized that I’ll be 25 in about 2 months time. It seems like quarter life crisis starts early last year and dragged on until now, not showing any signs of retreat. One issue after another. Sigh.

So many things happened lately that I don’t have time to stop and think for myself. Have been busy thinking and dealing about family stuff and it’s really tiring and resulting my face covered with tiny red spots/pimples. So not fun. So after a few weeks of family meetings, yelling, crying (not me), reasoning, banging the wall (not me again. I’m steady, wtf!) and whatever bullshit that we all (family) have to endure, I can safely say that we’ve come into a conclusion and possibly the best solution to our problems. I’m glad that the planning part is already kinda final. Now we’re waiting for the execution part, which involves a lot of commitment for me and Shorty. Heck, I’m not so confident that I can safely go through it.  Sigh. At times like this, I wish wake up blanketed with endless supplies of money. Sigh. There goes my vacation fund.

With all the problems going on and after scrutinizing on my personal expenses budget, which is barely enough to survive, I’m really tempted to look for other options. Better options of course. Sigh.  Yet another dilemma.  There’s an option that will, kinda, totally change my life and I’m not sure if I’m prepared to face the consequences and the change itself. But it seems exciting and probably one of the best option that’s available for me right now. So I’m keeping my mouth shut and fingers crossed before anything concrete is confirmed.

Well, I guess it’s now or never. Mom always tells me, “Work hard while you’re still young. Don’t wait until you’re old like me only start saving for retirement.” Sad but true.

I hope I’m able to support my parents when they’re retired.

Dreams, House Hunting And CNY!

Okay. I woke up today feeling like shit again. Those dreams that I’ve been having lately really cracks me up. It’s so vivid that for a moment, I really thought that it’s real. But then.. Every single time, the stupid alarm proves me wrong. Damn it. Ok, I admit the reason I love sleeping is because of the dreams. Really! It’s like watching movies. I dream every single day. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t. I dream even when I’m napping.. so.. back to the main point.. I’ve been having really nice dreams lately but when I wake up, I feel damn shitty lor!! it’s like.. “wtf?? It’s only a dream ah?? Cibai..” like that..

Actually, it’s really tiring to dream every night. I’ll feel restless the whole day. Especially like now.. (4.30pm) I’ll feel damn sleepy even though I’m busy working. It’s like going into an auto-sleep mode. But too bad cannot power nap at my cubicle cos the place is damn not strategic. Ugh. I wonder if I’m the only one with this problem.

Hmm. House hunting just begun. Going to view 2 units this Friday!! Hopefully the price still can nego.. cos I realy really like it!!! I mean.. I have not seen the inside but the area is my no.1 choice and it’s not located at busy roads. Just nice lah.. let’s see what will happen after viewing on Friday. Pray can nego at least 10% lesser though most likely maybe less than 5%. =( anyway, if everything turn out well *fingers crossed* it’ll be my first ever house!! Woohoo! Okay, I better stop thinking/talking so much about it.. Scared later jinxed like my Macbook Pro. Pffftt.

Oh.. Happy CNY!!! This year’s CNY feels just like any other public holiday… stayed at home most of the time cos really no mood to go out due to the horrible weather. I swear I could almost feel what it’s like to be a roasted pig!!  and oh… gambled a lil and won some money.. I sense good luck coming this year!! Hopefully better than last year, I’m not greedy.. just better than last year will make me a happy happy girl!

Okay, stop asking already!! I’m not going to get married anytime soon!!

Bai!!

tumblring more now.

at times, i wished Smelly has all the characteristics that Edward Cullen has.

damn romantic lor.


*cloud nine*

What I Miss

I was browsing through some of the old photos and found these. OMG!! I miss that workplace! look at the space that i had. sigh! and the privacy is like super privilege okay!! sobz.. now everyone can see what's on my screen whenever they pass by. wtf. damn insecure lo.. not that i have much secret la.. but i still miss the privacy. oh well.. the things i let go to "pursue" my so called "dreams". why there's always pro and cons la..?

everything is good. well, except for the monitor. :P

but seriously, i miss the telephone, the personal printer (though it's monochrome), the BIG PRIVATE space (though it's not room), the chair (OMG the chair!! now i had terrible but bearable one la.. still..) and the most important thing.. i miss my boss! T_T (though my current boss is very nice too... cannot compare cos both different style. come to think about it.. so far i miss working with 2 of my ex bosses. they are so nice lor.. one is like a brother to me and one is like a father to me.. huhuhu...)

but then.. restricted internet access and starting work at 8.30am is like the only 2 things that i don't miss. hmm. and the jam. omg the jam. (actually traffic here also quite bad lah.. but working hours starts at 9am. it makes a HUGE difference to me).

how i wish my current office have private cubicles for everyone. bleh! 

back to work!

My Top 5 Treat List

Talking about shopping in the previous post, I do think that it’s normal for a girl to shop once a month. It will lessen the shock like I just had after counting the number of things that I bought and calculating the money that’s gone. And even after buying so many things, I still have a list of things that I have in my Treat List (actually more to a wish list that is long forgotten):-

 

1.    I do really want to go to New York to visit mommy. It’s been my dream and in my wish list for SO LONG that I almost thought it’s not possible anymore (no money ma…). Even though we call each other at least 3 times a week and webcam at least twice a month, it’s really not the same as seeing her in person. To date, it’s almost 4 years since the last time I hugged her.

2.    Another treat that I would really like to give myself is to finish my (another long forgotten) Japanese class. I’ve actually signed up in March this year to continue the lesson where I’ve left 6 years ago but due to work, I abandoned the class yet again. To get a cert in that language will be a real treat to me, which I’m sure most likely will happen before the New York trip. =)

not exactly this but similar.

3.    What’s a treat if it’s without a material thing right? Recently, I’m eyeing on a Chanel bag. I think I don’t have to elaborate more on this! It’ll really complete any girls’ wardrobe! Really!!

4.    Another real treat for me will be a house. I think being 24, it’s time to get my own place and start planning for future. Besides, having my own place means more privacy and I love the idea of decorating a new place!! (without being restrained from doing this or that. LOL).

5.    Lastly of course, I’d really love to have the Dell Inspiron 13! Since I don’t have my own laptop yet (and waiting for Mom to send me one will take me forever), this is the perfect thing to have! Small enough for me to carry around and it has RED or PINK color to choose from! heheh.. and the specs are quite suitable for my normal usage. View the specs here.

I’ve been creating wish list so many times and almost all of it never happens. Wtf.. wish ma.. lol.. so hopefully by saying that it’s a TREAT list instead of WISH list, it will really going to come true this time! Gahh… and now,

Dell is giving away special coupon code 7ZQVQF2RLZRKW3  would allow anyone who makes purchase of a Dell Inspiron 13 (S510701MY) with RM100 Instant Cash Redemption!!. This promotion is only available online or by calling Dell at 1800-88-0301. This coupon code expires on 10th Nov 2009.

Faster go get one!

let's go holiday!

I checked AirAsia flight tix to HK next year during my birthday week and it’s only RM364 for return tix! OMG! I’m so tempted now.

I thought of “sin zham hau zau” (do only tell). But but… I’m still afraid that we’re still unable to arrange our schedule for next year yet. Boo.

But if I can “sin zham hau zau” like this year’s Bangkok trip also can ma.. right? Nothing bad happen also… Smelly didn’t kill me.. plus, this HK trip I already hinted him so considered he’s informed la.. right? Right?

Hmm… *evil plan*

BUT

I hate waiting for so long till holiday… =(

 

Sigh.

 

Let’s just go Singapore. Nearer. Or Hatyai. Wtf.. desperately need another holiday! Anyone? Weekend trip out of Malaysia?

time to change?

I braved myself for a challenge yesterday. I think I did okay. But I’m a lil bit concerned and nervous about the outcome. It’ll determine an important part of my life. Myself. My future. *cross fingers* hopefully everything will be okay.

****************************************

I shaved Alfie’s long shiny but forever tangled coat.

He doesn’t look like Alfie now.

He looked like a new dog.

He looked a lil bit like a Schnauzer.

He looked like a very naughty dog.

He looked cute. Grr..

I’m gonna keep his coat short from now on… it’s quite annoying to find balls of fur underneath our bed every time I clean the room. And it’s not so good to my nose cos his fur is all over our bed and comforter.

****************************************

I went back home the other day. Gramma still couldn’t walk. She sits on the lazy chair all the time and the maid have to push her all the way from the living room to the bathroom for shower. The wheelchair that my aunt got is too high, it’s difficult for her to transfer gramma from the chair to the wheelchair. Dad told me that the doctor said her left leg (which is a bit swollen and painful) is shorter than her right leg. Maybe it’s because she didn’t care to move her leg so the muscle got shorter or something. I don’t know.

It’s sad looking at her situation.

But I’m glad that she still remembers my name. Sometimes. Well, there’s a trick of getting her remember someone.

Just give her a cigarette.

=)

It works every time.

Well, at least she remembers few of my cousins and aunts who gave her cigarettes.

My Simple Target 2009

I bought some DVDs two weeks ago.. watched Ip Man (great movie!! But I hate hate HATE the Japanese ass-istant of the General!). Finally watched Batman: The Dark Knight! (OMG!!! Now I know why they say Heath Ledger is/was very good!!! I think nobody can replace The Joker now.. and Smelly fell asleep watching it! wth!) I also finally watched Madagascar (I know it’s very late..) and I watched Shutter (Thai version) yesterday night.. (stupid Smelly keep on teasing me with his hands creeping on my head. ZzZzz ) ugh.. I think I don’t dare to drive alone at night these few days.. post-movie trauma.

Still have Max Payne, They Wait and Madagascar: Escape to Africa DVDs to be watched during Chinese New Year…

Ok.. this year, I’m going to make a resolution.

Yes.

Like previous years, I DO make resolutions that have never been resolved and I noticed that I’ve been breaking my own promises every year.

Almost every year, I’ll tell myself to shed off SOME pounds but that only lasted for few months.

I’ll tell myself to go home more often to see my gramma and accompany my dad, talk to him more and all… but then, like usual, it only lasted for few weeks… (okay.. maybe it’s few days.. but hey.. at least I tried right??)

I’ll also tell myself to try to be more alert and less forgetful. But I guess it’s either genetic or lack of interest made me this way.

I’ll tell myself to make a habit and save money every month. But yeah.. like usual, plan failed.. (but then I managed to save up for my Bangkok trip last year… considered as saving also right? RIGHT? Just that I used it up after I saved. Wtf!)

Ok.. this year, I’m going to set targets for myself too.

- Work out at least ONCE a week. (that’s what new running shoes are for, right…)

- Go home at lease THREE DAYS a week (staying overnight is totally OPTIONAL). [I noticed recently that I couldn’t sleep without Smelly. T_T I hate to admit that I’ve become so dependant on him now]

- Spend less. be more stingy Spend only when needed (this is hard. Ugh).

- Start Japanese class (I think I can do this *finger crossed*).

- Party less (no comments. Smelly is the culprit. I SWEAR!!).

- FORCE bring Smelly to the dentist to extract his rotten wisdom tooth!! (So sick of it!! I’ve been trying for TWO years!!! I can’t believe it! ugh!! I think he’s afraid to go dentist. Wakakaka!!)

- Hang out more with my friends. My girl friends. My best friend. My circle. (This is a hope, not a target. Sigh! Why everyone is so busy!!)


So hopefully, by end of this year, I’ll be able to meet my target and keep these promises to myself. I have a feeling that I can only meet one or two targets. =.=

But I’m determined this time!

This is a challenge!

Let’s see how many points I’ll get end of this year.

Bleh!!

Random Conversation

Was shopping at gardens and passed by a lot of branded stores.

gf: I think every girl should own one branded handbag..

bf: Give you brand or no brand also will spoil easily ge lah..

gf: -_-! Ceh.. eh.. You see every girl around us.. They at least have ONE branded handbag…

bf: You also got Coach ma…(Referring to that Coach coin purse that mommy bought)

gf: That one cannot consider la.. Not HANDBAG weh…

bf: same lah..

gf: You see every girl around us also got boyfriend/husband buy for them one.. How come I don’t have geh? (hint hint)

bf: -_-

gf: Wah! If you buy ONE for me, sure I will not leave you forever!

bf: That’s why I don’t want to buy for you… =P

gf: =.=

which one?

*updated*
ok.. i showed Smelly the SE K850i yesterday and he told me that the real phone sucked. the keypad color will wear off and it's definitely a failure product!

no wonder i can't find this model in their US website! so i guess LG Q is my only choice huh?? anyone got better recommendation?

*****************************************

i seriously need a new phone. i can sense that the backup phone that i'm currently using is getting more and more emo. wtf..

i found some phone models on the net... which i really really like!

Sony Ericson K850i

nice right? i'm lazy to talk about the specs cos i think most people out there already know it la.. the reason i chose this because it's Sony Ericson. i'm used to using SE and i like it very much. and it has 5 megapixel camera and xenon flash!! too bad the choices of colors are limited and they don't have red.. boo! but then it's cool la.. i like it a lot!!! i can BLOG with it too. whoa.. i can imagine how busy i am already.. *snap snap* blog blog *snap *blog* wakakaka!

LG KU990 (Viewty)

nice hor?? i like it because it's RED! (but i found out that Malaysia only have boring black..) and it has 5.0 megapixel camera! at least better then my old SE W810i la.. only got 2megapixel.. (my backup phone lagi worse.. no flash one.. Nokia's first clamshell phone.. neh.. the one with leather-like cover like Coach prints that one la.. *shh!! later my phone emo again*..). but this Viewty is LG. i never use LG phone before... i wonder if it's user friendly or not. one thing about this phone.. it's touch screen leh.. sure very mah fan when type message. just like iPhone la.. i think everyone who use iPhone sure complain mah fan. especially when driving.. cannot reply message. but the thing that i like about this phone is.. it has cool camera! (ok la.. i admit.. because it's RED).

LG KS360 (LG Q)

i tell you... i'm in love with this phone!!! (of course because it has RED) it has QWERTY keypad, it looked very cute AND it has touchscreen... i know touchscreen is useless la.. but it's very easy to type message! very cute... with its round design.. can sms like IM. and i can IM with it too! i like! BUT.. only 2megapixel camera and cannot focus geh... NO FLASH, no 3G. but then considering the price they're offering (RM699, maybe lower now), i think it's like that lor.. cannot complain. of course, it's damn shyiokk if this LG Q has 5mp camera with xenon flash and 3G like SE K850i... or lagi best if SE 850i have qwerty keyboard!!! hahaha! siao!

sei mou... phone that is perfect (SE K850i) is sure very expensive... and cheap LG Q doesn't have the core thing that i want which is, obviously, high megapixel camera with flash... ugh!

how? tell me how lah?

it comes in pink too. sweet right?

Since my phone is spoilt and Smelly discouraged me to repair it cos we sent it to repair for thousandth times already and it still not in order. Supposed, he asked me to use his old phone, which died on him not long after he said that. I wonder why when one phone dies, it seems like all your extra phones commit suicide at the same time as well. It’s a curse to poor people like me. I asked Smelly to get a new phone for me since both of our phone spoilt…

“so you’re going to buy a phone for me right?”

-_-

“we buy same phone… if webuy two phones at one time, they will give discount geh… so nice!”

“duwan same phone la..”

“why wor? Can get cheaper ma..”

“duwan lah.. today my colleague come to work, he sei tiu (curse) cos he took his gf’s phone. They have the same phone. Same color, no handphone straps... exactly same lah… Some more both also sell car one… damn mah fan”

“ceh! If we get same phone, we don’t get same color lah… or we can put those handphone strap to differentiate ma. Hehe..” *damn happy, can get new phone*

“-_- no money… duwan buy.”

“you promised d wor….”

“bluek!”

“LIAR!!!!!!”

Smelly, will you approve this?? please...

OMG!!..

MAS is having this low fare thingy again..

i just checked.

to Bangkok is only RM325 for return tix!

and to Hong Kong is only RM659!

this is sooo tempting!!!!!


rates above is for travelling in May 2009..

since my probation only end in April, i can only plan for holidays after that. and what a coincidence.. May happen to be my birth month!

a birthday treat for myself maybe?

this time, must go during weekend!! MUST MUST MUST go Chatuchak..

hehe..

oh.. and i've also checked the Baiyoke Boutique Hotel , it's only like THB 6500 for 4 nights including breakfast for 2.. should be around RM 670.. around RM170/night. i think it's quite reasonable la.. since it's at the centre of the city and has really nice room.. (no, i'm not going to the Baiyoke Sky Hotel.. very expensive! Boutique Hotel is the lower range of Baiyoke hotels..) and it's just located at the warehouse place.. imagine.. after breakfast, take a shower, get ready and start your day with shopping.. which is only few steps away from your hotel.. and you can put your buys back to the room and continue shopping if you got tired of holding too many shopping bags! whoa!! so nice right..

and Chatuchak... i missed it cos i went there during weekdays few months ago... (also in May!) i can't wait for my next trip!!!

how how?

can i get the tickets and book the room already?

please?



(anyone wants to be my travel partner if Smelly don't want to go with me? hmmmm..)

too early for new year's resolution?

i'm planning to go for gym next month.

i already have a plan..

let's see..

breakfast - home made sandwich (tuna/ham/egg) or cereal with milk *note to self-stock up cereal*. except weekends and public holidays. because by the time i wake up, it's already lunch time. normally i'll eat noodles or porridge..

lunch - as usual, the company's canteen. they usually serve rice and noodles with a variety of dishes to go with.. like chicken, fish, chicken, fish, chick.... a lot of vege too. half the portion of rice or noodle i usually take. (eh.. i'm serious about this diet healthy lfestyle thing ok?). maybe i'll go out for lunch once in a while with friends... and have like.. fast food? hehe.

dinner - depends on what Smelly's mom cook. but i usually only take 2-3 tablespoonful of rice. and a lot of vege also. sometimes we eat out. so i guess eating out is a bonus/rest day for me.. so from next month onwards, no more rice for dinner. strictly no carb for dinner. only lots of protein and fiber. (i'll try to follow this dinner menu..) must follow!

so, i'm planning to go to the gym every monday, wednesday and friday. since it's free for staffs, might as well make full use of it right? i heard that it's really underutilized. and i heard from one of my colleagues who visits the gym religiously, said that not more than ten people every evening. and she sees the same person every time.

so i thought.. why not?

ok.. i think i need to get running shoes and exercise attire..

*pledge to self* follow the routine and menu strictly.

let's see how many kilos i will gain shed before new year!

camera camera..

which one?

Canon or Sony?

compact or DSLR? (of course... i'm thinking about something cheap and easy-to-use.. like EOS 5OD? cos i am camera-idiot.) *btw, can someone tell me what is "prosumer" ??*

i'm not very good when it comes to gadget.. i think the pro-est that i can get is to know how to use my iPod by heart (well almost la)..

i've been longing for a camera since like.. forever. i'd love to have a DSLR. but i think with my hangat-hangat tahi ayam nature, it'll take seconds (okay, i exaggerated.. maybe few months) for me to get bored and fed up with playing with it..

i do think that it takes a lot of effort and time to learn and explore photography and i certainly don't have the artistic genes.. (blame my parents.. they gave all the art genes to Shorty). i'm just afraid that after spending so much on a DLSR, i don't make full use of it ended up keeping it in the storage box.

actually, i just need a compact camera.. i'm eyeing on one of the Canon IXUS/Powershot or Sony Cyber-shot. i used to like Sony T series.. (obviously because of the sleek design).. but after a while, i think i prefer the W series... (cos the lense is not built-in.. i heard built-in lense's photo doesn't come out as great as those "un-built-in" ones.. [what do you call that? zoom-able lense? or just lense?] correct me if i'm wrong..)

i'm eyeing on one of these babies... tho i don't really know what's the difference.. but i think i like the design.. :P

Canon E1

Because it's cute and got white color..

Canon IXUS 90 IS

er.. because.. it looked more expensive than E1...

Sony W300

because i purposely want to compare Canon with Sony.. it's black and definitely handsome!

Sony T300

Because it's RED!!!!!!! and it comes with wide screen. nice.

but actually right.. i just need a compact camera that can make my photo come out like DSLR.

hohoho... i still salivate everytime i look at DSLR photos.. so real and so nice! no need photoshop...

seriously lor.. cos DSLR is very bulky.. i can't take it with me 24/7.. not to mention that it's expensive too.. though i know i can just top-up few hundred bucks and get the entry level DSLR.. but like i said earlier, i tend to get bored easily and no art genes at all.. so i don't want to waste money.. (i'm considering on learning photography from friends though).

so.. any suggestion on good compact camera that will turn my photo into DSLR effect (without photoshopping la)?

I know it's still early to make a Christmas wishlist.. but since i'm so free now, might as well do it now. :P

i remember writing a wishlist 2 years back and i received a similar gift from Shorty *ahem*hint*ahem*!

since i did not receive any gift for last year and this year's birthday, valentine's day, Christmas and anniversary *AHEM*HINT*AHEM* i think i should come out with a Christmas wishlist huh? (ok lah.. i still remember you gave me cash for my bday this year.. BUT it's different ok..)

let's start with...

- A PHONE.

why? because mine is spoilt and currently using a spare phone which i think will face the same fate as my previous phone anytime soon..

- A WALLET.

why? because i need a proper wallet.. i'm getting bored with the one i'm using now... the one i'm using now is like... very kiddy... =)

- A LAPTOP.

why? because i don't have one and i need it la.. plus, i'm really sick of waiting turns to use the desktop. i need my own space too weh...

- this silver strap for my watch.

i have the exact watch but it's leather currently.. so imagine how dirty it can get.. (see? i'm not greedy.. i wished for strap. not watch! but if got a new watch also can la... *evil grin*)

- Bookstore vouchers? hehe..

- ALL EXPENSE PAID trip to...

NEW YORK! because i miss mommy..

JAPAN! because i like la.. because i can speak my broken Japanese with them.. wtf!

HONG KONG.... because.. don't say lah! i think it won't happen.. (refer to this.)

- a bag for work.

Jimmy Choo

Balenciaga

Balenciaga

because the current one has a tiny lil hole inside.

why 3? because i can't decide which one i like the most.. wtf.. but i think i like Jimmy Choo's the most...

- This...

Maybeline Lash Stylist mascara. I want waterproof geh...(if not mistaken, they have it in US, Aussie, UK and some other places BUT NOT Malaysia!!! -.- )

i think that's all i can think of for now...

hint: anyone who wants to get any of the item above for me, no need to look for it so hard.. i already gave out the brand's name!! LOL!! (wtf, so materialistic... tsk tsk... ok lah... similar also can lah...)

oh... i read back my old wishlist and noticed that some of it came true... like..

- that white pointed heels. (which i think i got for myself)

- that dress. (Shorty got me a similar top...which i still wear until now)

- that pet dog (i didn't name him Chuzzie tho..)

and i noticed that i have not get myself a new wallet since 2006. -.- and also that Adidas shoe!! i've been searching for 2 years and still no sight of it. sigh!

note to self: must get a new wallet soon!

the pot of gold.

It’s been more than a year I’ve been away from the corporate-style office, which is to require me to be at work on time. I’ve been going to work well, not very on time I’d say, for the past year. But hey, it doesn’t mean that I’m lazy.. It’s just that, it’s kind of a culture in the previous office. People come to work not on time, but they work more than 10 hours a day. Some even go back home after midnight. So it’s natural not to be at work on time. But then, it’s also because the company is not a corporate company. It’s because the company is just a small and comfortable one.

So anyway, I’ve finally had the courage to step out and learn something new. Well, not exactly new la.. but more to change of environment and also to challenge myself in a different industry. It was kinda difficult for me to leave everything and everyone behind. Especially Sam. He’s the first boss that treated his subordinate like friends. And I treated him like my older brother cos he’s very young too. Only 6 years older than me. Perhaps that’s why I felt happy working there at the first place. Even though the salary wasn’t as good as I got before, I felt happy and didn’t mind working there. Come to think about it, he hardly gives me any pressure during my service there. It’s very comfortable working with him (I can always walk in his room without even knocking and chat with him like a friend). Very informal and very easy.. I wonder if I have any chance to have a boss like him again..

The next thing that I missed most is the colleague there. Even though sometimes when we’re busy with work, especially during events, and sometimes there will be some misunderstanding and disagreements, everyone were very close. It’s like a small family growing in the company. We talk, we laugh, we got angry, we scolded each other, and we made up, we’re just like a family. A typical one.

It’s kinda sad knowing that I had to leave but seriously, if it wasn’t about the company’s restructuring plan that went terribly wrong and stupid (my opinion lah), I wouldn’t have resigned. But then.. oh well… let’s just make that a history.

Being in a new company, a different industry, a new boss, whole new colleagues and different environment kind of made me feel like it’s a new ME. It’s like I’m newborn. There’s so much to learn.. So many things to catch up and because this industry is new to me, there are so many emotions running in me now. I have a mixed up feeling the moment I got to know they accepted me in. I felt very happy but at the same time, scared. I was really nervous that I couldn’t really sleep well and had nightmares for almost two weeks. Yes… it really affects me. I don’t know what I’m going to face. I don’t know how my future boss will treat me. is he the kind who have a black face all day long? Will he scold me for something puny? Or will he treat me like my previous boss? Is he strict? Is he lenient? I don’t know..

I don’t know how my new colleagues will be. Will I mix with the wrong crowd? Will there be any crowd? How will they think of me? Will they think that I’m a bad girl by judging my looks?

I’m so nervous yet very excited at the same time. Can I wake up on time every morning? Will I be late to work? I can’t afford to go late to work… must be disciplined. It’s unlike my previous company where latecomers aren’t warned at all..

So.. the first day of work….

Miraculously, I managed to drag my lazy ass and heavy body up and finally forced myself to open my eyes and face the reality – which is to wake up early to work like almost everyone else. I find it quite challenging to wake up early in the morning, as I’m really actually very superbly definitely NOT a morning person at all. But I managed to be at the office 10 minutes earlier than the scheduled time (praise self).

I went to HR dept to get my tags and do some quick introductions of some of the policies and stuffs and went to my workstation. My boss was in a meeting and the CEO’s PA, Carmen, showed me around the building. Which is quite a number of floors we need to go (regretted wearing high heels— hurt and blistered like hell now). Got to know some important people that I will liaise with in the future, which are secretaries, head of divisions and some other people that I will work very closely with. To be honest, I can’t really remember who is who yet and I totally forgot their names right now but I will definitely try my best to remember who is who and what is what.

Well, I can’t judge my boss now cos it’s only one day and so far I think he’s okay. But I got to know from Carmen that he’s a very morning person! He reaches the office around 7-8 every morning… -_-!

So this week is more like a 'getting-used-to' period.. hopefully everything will be fine la. Oh.. Have I mentioned that lunch is provided too?? Hehehe… this way, I can save up for my Hong Kong trip!

Yesterday was a very nervous and blur day.. to be honest, I felt very scared because I really don’t know what’s ahead of me. I felt lifeless. I felt dull. But then just before I went home yesterday, I went in my boss room and I saw a full rainbow. Yes… FULL RAINBOW in KL.. and it instantly lighten up my mood. I instantly felt much better and funny though… the rainbow is like a hope. A very good one..

Perhaps God wants me to know that there are still hopes and the world is still colorful.

Perhaps there are really pots of gold at the end of the rainbow… :)