Lazy Weekend Singing With Singers. Hahaha!!

I wasted last weekend doing nothing.

Oh.. actually I wasted the whole Sunday.

Went to Bukit Bintang on Saturday. Appointment at KL Plaza at 2p.m. but was postponed to 3.30p.m. last minute. After appointment, went to Pavilion for a walk. To Parkson cos I got RM100 cash vouchers expiring soon so I was wandering in Parkson thinking what to buy. I went in and out 3 times, nothing caught my eyes. So finally I bought some lingerie from La Senza.

Reached home just before a heavy rain. Napped a while before going off to work.

Woke up at 10.30a.m. on Sunday thinking to clean the very VERY messy room and do some laundry that’s been piled up since a month ago. *Gasp*

But went back to sleep cos it’s too early.. woke up at 12ish cos someone called and went back to sleep naturally. And when FINALLY woke up, it’s already 5.30p.m.

-_-

So I returned a call and got invited to Redbox @ The Gardens. Reached there at about 6.15 and went to pharmacy to get some toiletries before going to Redbox. You wouldn’t believe who I went singing with… hehe.. very good singers in real life. Imagine singing a song with the real singer… (G, your dream came true.. *winkz*) Hope to see them around again soon.


So I was saying that I want to clean the room, rearrange some stuff and especially do the laundry! And also, clean the closet. Damn.. so messy now. I REALY NEED A CHEST DRAWER!!!! I don’t care.. I’m going to get one this weekend!

Back to work!

no guts.

Life is funny. Definitely unpredictable.

When you’re in a position where you need to make decisions and you’ve finally made up your mind, somehow, something tells you that “hey.. maybe there’s another better way of doing it… maybe what you have decided is not so much of a help… maybe that’s not the best way of getting out of the system…”

Ugh. I don’t know.

They say, “you only see the person’s good things when he/she is gone”. I think I’m in this situation. Only that… nobody is dead. *choi!!* (no.. I’m not referring to relationship either..)

One thing about me is that I’m very impulsive BUT indecisive.

I hope that my subconscious isn’t telling me to chicken out.

S.A.F.S (Save A Fat Soul) wtf.

I’m worried.

I looked fat lately. Really fat. I feel fat. But strange thing is… I didn’t put on any weight and all my clothes still fits me like it used to.

How come leh?

Maybe because I feel ugly so I naturally feel fat too.

Damn.

I think it’s either because of my hair, or I’m already used to seeing myself in make-up.

And lately.. I think my nose is too big.. HUGE.

*Gasp! Horror!*

Am I becoming vainer?

Please.tell.me.i’m.not.

Thank you very much.

p/s- seriously.. I think my nose is very big.


******************************************

I don’t know about this anymore.

Hmm.

It’s a mixed feeling of irony, indecisiveness, heavy heart and curiosity.

Part of me wants it so badly. But another part of me doesn’t because I’ve fallen into the comfort zone. Not that I cannot adapt to changes. But then… I’m more than happy to live in comfort than to live in surprises. Seriously. But I don’t mind surprises since it’ll bring excitement.

I seriously need a professional advice.

Anyone care to help a lost fat soul?

maybe unfit?

I don’t understand why some MOST people had to use the lift even if it’s only ONE FLOOR up/down!!! Got staircase cannot use meh? Walk one floor up/down is very difficult meh?? Hphh! Because of you people, people like ME, had to stop floor by floor before reaching my destination! UGH!
-end of rant-

It’s already April! One more month tour trip! Oh.. Deric and Shirley might be coming along too. Yay! The more the merrier! Hopefully they won’t ffk last minute though.

Oh.. Supposed I booked the flight at noon, but I think they cancelled their 12pm flight and we had to reschedule to either 3pm or 9am. So I changed it to 9am cos more time for us there! Hehe.

I’ve been refraining myself from buying any clothes, shoes and accessories lately cos I wanted to get everything there cos it’s so very the cheap compared to here! (ok lah.. maybe not shoes.. but I’ll try my best not to buy anything form now on except for food… ok.. and cigarettes).

I seriously can’t wait for it man!

*****************************************

Today is like… quite a very dull day. Boss went for a workshop for SMC so there’s nothing much to do. I’m beginning to feel that I’m not much of a help to him and what Vincent said all this while (to which, I very agree!) that I’m not fit to be a personal assistant/secretary/whatever you wanna call it. Seriously, I think it’s very true lor! I don’t have a good memory. I can’t concentrate in something that I’m not interested in ie: meetings. I’m not super well-organized compared to other PAs. I just.. ok, I admit it.. I just can’t sit still all day long. That’s so not me.

As much as I tried stopping myself comparing the current job to the previous ones, I found myself stuck in the thoughts more. I’m trying hard. But I’m not sure if I’m giving my best (ugh.. confidence issue..) gah! Whatever.

*****************************************

Things happen for a reason. And I hope I don’t have to always find a reason for an excuse.

Is This What I Really Want?

Lately, I don’t dream about weird dreams so often anymore.
I can’t say that I’m more focused lately but I think I’m feeling more stable. As in emotionally (hopefully financially will come next though).

I went yumcha with a college friend, who’s getting married end of this year btw, last week and we talked about quite a lot of things. Like work and personal life. After we went home, he texted me something and got me thinking for a while.

I’m not sure whatever he sees in me (after 3 years we didn’t talk cos he’s oversea) or the way he sees me now is still the same like what I was when we used to hang out together last time. Somehow, I disagree to one of the two things he mentioned, which, I’ve replied him with my reasons and another one, I’m not sure myself whether to agree or disagree so I just ignored it.

I think it’s time for me to really sit down and ponder upon that issue. Not that I’m avoiding it completely before this. Not that I’ve never thought about it before this. I knew about the existence for a while now. It’s just that I don’t really have the courage to give a deep thought to it. I don’t have the guts to think about the next step if the issue is going to affect me forever.

Perhaps I had chosen to live in denial when it comes to this issue.

I don’t know.

I hope this will not haunt me forever. I guess this is a part of growing up old.

Renew Passport take 1 - FAIL.

Yesterday, I took leave to renew my passport with Ming. We went out around 9.30a.m because he needs to stop by at Taipan, Subang to drop his car at workshop. I was a bit annoyed at first because we were quite late already because the last time I went to renew my passport, I reached there before 8a.m and the people waiting in line is enough to make you just give up and go home. But Ming told me that his colleagues said it’s better to go as late as possible because there’ll be not much people since everyone went there in the morning. -_-

We reached Subang Airport around 10.30 and luckily, there weren’t as many people as I thought there’ll be. So we were looking for a parking space and Ming asked, “We only need to bring IC right?” and I was like… OMG!!! Shit shit shit! “I FORGOT TO BRING MY EXPIRED PASSPORT!”

Since it was Ming’s first time applying, he only needs photos and IC. But for renewal, we need to actually give them our expired one. So I try my luck asking if it’s okay to submit the renewal form first, while I go home to take the old passport, which, of course, cannot!

So Ming continued with his application and I took the instant passport photo cos I don’t have one and I purposely make up to look good in the new passport :P So while Ming was at the counter taking his number, they check his IC and read it in the reader thing.. so just in case, I just pass them my IC to see whether my card’s chip is functional… and they checked and say, “Sorry Miss, this card is spoilt.”

Horror!

She told me that I cannot renew passport without a functional MyKad and said I can go to JPN and get a temporary IC and it’s very fast only. So I look at the list of JPN nearest to Subang Airport, which is in Padang Jawa. So I left Ming there waiting for his turn to submit his application. Since I’m a bit of a direction idiot, I just follow signboard.

I reached the first toll (to take ticket), asked the staff, she said follow Shah Alam. So I follow Shah Alam and reach another toll (to pay), ask the staff again, she said, “Padang Jawa? You follow Klang faster. Here very far lah. You can U turn back.” so I U turn, follow Klang. So I reach the toll again and asked, “Padang Jawa how to go?” the staff replied me dunno what then I asked, “Padang Jawa nearer or Jalan Kapar nearer?” he told me Jalan Kapar.

So I went to Klang direction following the signboard. Then I reached a place that I’m not familiar with. I called JPN’s number and get direction. That brings me to another very unfamiliar place. Kebetulan there’s a police station. So I stopped by and asked for directions from the abang polis. He directed me to Jalan Kapar. But the building that he said “you boleh namapak bila you sampai Jalan Kapar” was not anywhere in sight. So I stopped by a petrol station and asked a couple there. rupa-rupanya it’s just right after the petrol station.

Luckily the process of getting a temporary IC is less than 5 minutes, but then the journey there. Hmphh! When I reached the immigration to get Ming, he told me he has to wait another 2 hours after he make the payment. That time, he’s still waiting for his turn to make payment. So we had our lunch there and about 1.30 or 2pm, we make payment and told them that we’ll come back another day to take the passport cos Ming cannot wait so long cos he have to work and I have another appointment at 4pm.

So there.

Renew passport became renew IC.

T_T

Have to take leave to renew passport AGAIN! ccb!

New Phone

Backdated post.

3 weeks ago...


Oh.. btw, yea.. I finally got myself a new phone Smelly got me a new phone. Cos my spare phone decided to act funny on me. pffft.

First, my SE w810i always shut down on its own (after I changed the housing from black to white, which I totally regret now). Then, I switched back to black housing cos apparently the white one doesn’t suit the phone. After I switched back to the black one, it STILL shut down by itself AND the camera doesn’t work. Send it for repair and after few weeks I got it back, it shut down automatically AGAIN and this time, some buttons are not functional!! I sent the phone and they say some electronics inside is spoilt. Need to change. GAH!! Money again!! Being cheapskate, I decided to use my spare phone, my trusty Nokia 7200. After more than half a year, it decided to act funny. -_- First, it shut down by itself (is it ME or is it normal??). Last weekend, it decided to turn the loudspeaker by itself whenever I answer calls! Wtf? Why all my phones like to do things by itself geh?? Very funny.

So want it or not, I need to get a new phone ASAP. Tak kan want the whole world to hear whatever the caller said to me every time I’m on the phone right?

Smelly’s been telling me before Christmas that SE T303 is not bad. Cos it’s small and nice looking. Well.. it IS small and nice looking. But it has got no function at all! Compared to my w810 la..

But I got no choice. Since I got negative money, and it’s within Smelly’s budget, so we bought it yesterday (Thank You lah.. Muahx!).

The phone comes with built-in 8GB memory without additional memory slot, 1.3mp camera without flash, er.. The rest I no need say lah.. It’s a very basic phone. Perfect to use as second phone. Since it’s almost the same like my Nokia 7200 (but better cos it can play mp3 files and not VGA camera), so I don’t mind using it for now.

I’m thinking of fixing the w810 cos I’m used to it already. This T303 is a slide phone, which I think the 1,2,3 buttons are quite hard to press cos the upper space is quite small. The ‘C’ and Menu button is also quite hard to press, as I need to press it harder than usual. It’s so small that it feels quite fragile.

Talk about fragile, I dropped the phone even before I insert my SIM card!

Smelly lah! I passed to him to open the back cover for me and his leg stretched out and knocked on my hand and *piak*.. The phone dropped.

Both of us gave each other a -_- look.

I guess it’s time to get used to this mini phone!

Ching Ming aka Grave Sweeping Day.

Throat inflammation again. It hurt so bad every morning when I woke up. A bit itchy too.

I think it’s because I haven’t had enough proper rest lately.

Coughing badly too. But no phlegm came out.

Oh.. and this “package” comes with constant headache too. I think it’s what Chinese always refers as: “gah foh” direct translation: fake fire? I’m not sure what it’s called in English. Do they even have a term for it at the first place? Ugh.. never mind.

Went to Mambau, I think it’s between Seremban and Port Dickson, to visit my Grampa’s grave on Saturday because Ching Ming ,the day we visit graves of our ancestors to clean their tombs. Dad told me and brother it’s their “New Year”, cos for us, we clean our house for Chinese New, so we have to sweep the grave as clean as possible too..

We departed at 6.30a.m, and reached there around 7.45a.m. There were so many people there compared to last year we went. Dad told it’s because last year, we went a month earlier cos it’s the first year Grampa “celebrated” Ching Ming. Last year, there were some Indonesian workers there offering to clean the graves for us (for RM50), but this year, we saw no signs of them. Perhaps they’re busy with other graves. Dad told us it’s a tradition that we need to pass on to our next generation next time. Dad doesn’t really know the complete (and original) ritual cos Grampa came from China and our ancestors are all buried in China. We just simply brought some food and a bottle of Guinness Stout (Grampa’s favourite)for offerings and also some stuff (clothes and “hell money”) that we burn for Grampa. Some people there even brought firecrackers and burn it in front of their ancestors’ grave. It’s really like a celebration.

It’s a believe that praying to our ancestors (most Chinese have an altar for ancestors besides other Gods statues at home) brings good luck to next generations. Dad told me that his brother in China (different mother) who prays to our ancestors and clean their graves during Ching Ming, is doing very well now, compared to another brother who doesn’t. It’s kinda sad that dad never been to China for a visit to our ancestors’ graves as most people usually will go back to their origin country for a visit. At least we (the next generation) knows where our ancestors were buried.

Ming’s mother told me that only the sons can go for Grave Sweeping. Married daughters are not allowed to go, unless they had the permission from their brothers (which I personally think it’s a ridiculous rule). I asked why is it so? Married daughters are still family too, right? She said because married daughter doesn’t carry the same surname anymore, also, they believe (and afraid) that the good luck will be taken away by the daughters. Wtf? Ridiculous, no? I think it is nonsense. I asked my dad the other day and he said for him, it’s okay to have his sisters to visit Grampa. The more the merrier. That tradition/rule is for selfish people to follow/believe. Which, I agree totally. How can you ban married daughters to visit their ancestors? It’s so unfair. And what if that family doesn’t have any sons? Damn sad right?

So back to my story… we reach there quite early but still it’s flooded with people. Luckily the sun is not up so high yet when we reached and still covered by the higher ground so it’s still not too hot. This year, only three of us went. Dad, Desmond and I. (Last year, we had Debb, Fazral and Ben with us). After we finished cleaning, offering and praying, we ate the food. Hehe.

Being the first year cleaning the grave ourselves, we didn’t know what compulsory tools to bring, so we used plastic bag as gloves and newspaper as broom to sweep it. Next year, we’re gonna bring gloves, mini broom/brush and maybe a shovel. We passed by a grave planted with those nice grass, which is quite beautiful. I wanted to take some photos for this visit, but then only realized that I forgot to bring camera and left my phone at home.

Speaking of photos, there are still quite a number of photos sitting in the memory card cos the card reader is spoilt. Oh.. I splurged last weekend too. Gah! But I think it’s a necessity and I don’t really feel bad about it. Report after I get a new card reader.

Why?

Extracted from here

A SINGAPOREAN died of heart failure after his penis became stuck in a soft drink
bottle, reported Sin Chew Daily and China Press.
The incident happened when
the 77-year-old man used the bottle to masturbate.
China Press reported that
the senior citizen got his private part into the bottle and only sought help
after his penis could not be dislodged from the bottle despite trying various
ways such as applying soap water.
Doctors tried to alleviate the man’s
suffering by cutting the bottle below the neck but to no avail because by that
time, the skin around the penis had started to become inflamed, causing him to
be unable to urinate.
His misadventure later led to other medical
complications causing his death.

i have nothing to say.

Worthiness.

I’ve been standing so much that the tip of my toes feel numb 24/7.

There’s this one night, my feet hurt so much that I kept waking up at night.

It’s only been 3 weeks and there are moments that I thought of giving up. But then… I can’t give up so easily. I can’t chicken out. This is nothing. A lil bit of hardship is definitely worth it at the end of the day. This is what I keep telling myself.

I can do it.

I can deal with it.

I’ll live with it. At least for the time being.

Someday, my hard work will pay off.

Someday, I don’t have to work so hard to achieve what I dream of.

Someday.

One day.

When will it be?

Hopefully before I lose my strength.

Happy 24th

Today is a special day.

A day filled with celebration, endless text messages and phone calls with all the best wishes.

For all the years we’ve known each other, there was never a year that I have forgotten this day. Ironically, there was never a year that we celebrated together, for many reasons. Being your best friend, I totally accept and understand all those reasons and totally not minding a belated birthday dinner with you.

Because you are my best friend. Best friends do not always need to come first. You know we’re always with each other despite the physical absence.

Dear you,

Happy Birthday.

wtf.

 

even blogspot also kena blocked!

 

now... when are you going to block Gmail?

 

gah!

 

 

un-sleeping beauty.

I’ll be getting very little sleep.

About 4 hours or less.

I don’t know whether it’s worth it or not... but sigh.. I had to lah. No choice.

Luckily it’s only 3 days a week.

It’s been 2 weeks (I think) since the last time I slept at my own house.. so I thought of going back for a night or two this week…

Note to self : I seriously need to go home more often!

Since it’s unplanned (I don’t have to plan when to go back to my own house anyway, right?), so I SMSed Smelly..

Dy : bB, I’m going back to sleep tonight.

Smelly :
Why?

Dy : So long didn’t go back…

Smelly : You got new
phone then leave me alone

Dy : *insert an indifferent-look
emoticon*

Smelly : Bad la u *insert 8-) emoticon*

Dy :
You ah… where got… come.. I sayang you back. Muahx!

Bleh!

and i had to force myself eating something that i hate with tears.

yesterday, you made realised how significant i am to you.

you bought the food that i don't eat (if i have a choice).

"you know that i don't eat (yellow) mee right?"

"oh.. i remember wrongly," you said. "i thought you don't eat mee hoon."

after three years.... and you still can remember wrongly?

you have no idea how i felt that very moment.


it's like a zillion needles poked through my heart...