A lot of times when a person is in fear, they react in a way that results them to do stupid things.
Friday, June 12, 2020
When a person lives in fear...
Tuesday, June 09, 2020
When To Keep Quiet
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." -Matthew 7:6 NIV
Monday, October 20, 2014
After A Long Hiatus.
It's been a while since I last posted anything here.
Too caught up with stuffs... mostly work and just living my life undocumented.
Reading back old posts and looking at past years photos got me jealous of my old self. "Was I THAT happening last time?" LOL. I used to be so active, going everywhere, doing random stuffs and I had so much energy. Now, I just prefer sitting at home doing nothing. Yes. Nothing. Well, except for occasionally bringing out my niece and nephew for lunch with grandma and aunts, my life for the past year was just working and staying in. Nothing much interesting happened. It's kind of like a soul-searching year for me. I'll try to document more here, as I find that my memory keeps failing me so it's good that I do it more, haha! I read back some of the posts here and I can't even remember certain things happened. LOL.
Well, work is hectic but still bearable. It's so flexible that I can work from anywhere during prep and non-event days. I mostly work at home and I told myself that I'm taking this as an opportunity to rest before I'm back on my foot again. It's good. After so many years of working in strict-and-full-of-office-politics environments, I got tired and it got me thinking, so what if I made a lot of money but I'm not enjoying it? I'm not happy and I'm stressed most of the time and all we (colleagues) do was to bitch about things that we actually can make changes to if we made our effort and have a little courage to change ourselves. So I made the decision that makes most sense to me. I quit and took the leap of faith. Not knowing what will happen, not knowing if I can ever find any suitable job or if anyone would want to hire me. And until today, I still thank God that I found it. I chose the least favorite option that most people would. In return, I have a lot of freedom in terms of work schedule, working style and most importantly being trusted. I'm not earning a lot more than before, but I gain more in terms of personal development and experience. Many friends were shocked when I told them I took a 60% pay cut. I don't mind it. Seriously, at that point of time, all I wanted/needed was good rest and pull myself out of the bad system. I'm glad that I did. I'm so much happier now.
One year passed and it feels like just yesterday. They said happy times passed quickly. Indeed.
So to everyone (anyone?) that are still coming back here to read my updates, thank you. I wish everyone to just take your time, do the things that you love most. Don't be afraid of changes. After all, God has planned for us in His way.
still sober at 13:27 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: diary, experience, random, work
Thursday, November 08, 2012
that little bits of hope.
saw a tiny little glimpse of the light unexpectedly.
just a tiny one.
enough to make me feel secured and happy.
but then, it vanished.
again.
it went all dark again.
waiting.
just waiting for it to come again.
when?
still sober at 12:14 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: work
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
I Love Street food!
still sober at 01:17 2 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: glutton dy, Monday Loves, travel, work
Monday, April 11, 2011
I Love BBQ Party!
still sober at 16:04 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: Monday Loves, party, work
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
of enemies and troubles.
I came back from Beijing with mild sore throat and nose blocked for about a week. Not exactly the best feeling, especially when I couldn’t really taste what I ate. But not as bad as Shorty though.. she had a terribly flu and her taste bud went absolute bonkers. Actually the weather lately is super crazy. One minute it was mad hot and stuffy, another minute it gets all gloomy and rain heavily. Almost half of my colleagues are sick. Not sure if it’s because of the Beijing trip or KL weather is just nuts.
Okay. I’m gonna stop talking about the boring weather.
I was gonna rant about a lot of things that happened lately. But I’m too tired to even care anymore. It’s just major waste of time. I know some of you are waiting for my classic “jahdou” and ranty posts (hikhik) but since I told you guys d, no need lah… wait til the time bomb explode again then I’ll write a long one. heh.
Okay.. I changed my mind.
You see.. this year, there are so many shitty things happened to me (luckily not major ones lah). Work wise, it was considered good if not great, BUT… (see? There’s always a BUT) .. there’s ALWAYS a bitch who just like to ruin your good life. Pfft. First, there’s a colleague who like to make my life miserable by making things difficult. But me being me, I use all my energy to accommodate him and try to understand the reason behind his attitude/character and of course, for me, work is just work. So I don’t take it personal and most of the time, I just don’t care if he is going to be annoyed or angry, as long as I get my work done and I don’t mind being scolded at, because again, it’s just work. So after a while, I learned that he was not a bad person after all. Just that a lot of people cannot stand the way he does things and found him unbearable and hard to get along. After half a year working together, we’re kinda good friends/colleagues. Until today, a lot of them still don’t understand how I can get along and work with him. I’ll always remember how mom always says, “if someone treated you badly, you don’t have to treat them bad too. In contrast, you have to treat them better than you already did. One day, they will understand.” And yes, I believe in karma too.
But that was not only it… one enemy down and a new enemy turn up! Wtf.. nonstop cycle! This one is a major bitch if you ask me. I have never met or known any colleagues like this in my 7 years of working experience! Omg.. I don’t even know where and how to start describing her… she is super spoilt as a daughter, girlfriend AND colleague. Seriously.. if she work somewhere else, I think she can’t even stand a day. She is also super whiny and likes to complain every single thing to my boss. Long story. But to cut it, my boss is also another lembik one. I’m not even sure if I want to respect him after what he portrayed himself to be. But I guess I respect him as just my boss, nothing more than that. Cos he seems to be biased and I super hate favoritism between bosses and staffs. I mean.. I’m aware that favoritism is normal, but not to that extend lah… another thing is.. I super hate it when we (all the other colleagues) talk to him, he never really pay attention and ALWAYS have his eyes laying on her direction. Grrr!!! Wtf! my things are not urgent meh! He ALWAYS go to her direction when I’m halfway talking to him!! Damn cibai one I tell you…
If I were to go on and talk about her, I think 3 days 3 nights also not enough. Pfft. I’m damn pissed.
Not only colleagues that are giving me problems… friends-turned-enemy also giving me so much trouble. Luckily I have nothing to hide and things just died after ignoring it. Seriously. Ignorance is bliss. No point arguing with bimbo who act godly and strong when inside, she’s just another vulnerable psycho.
Oh.. and BFFs who are damn stubborn. I wonder if they’re worth my precious time… (no lah.. I still love my BFFs. I’m just annoyed at them for being so clueless sometimes).
And Smelly… he is number one in irritating me. grrr!!!! I cannot be mad at him no matter how hard I tried cos he got a joker face that will make me laugh whenever I look at him when I’m angry. Wtf. he STILL calls me fat and it’s mad annoying lor!!!! sidenote: kena nag for spending so much and owing still a lot. Pfft. But he just bought GT5 for like 300bucks and he have not gotten a console yet! Wtf. who is spendthrift now eh?
Friday, August 13, 2010
I Came Back From Kota Kinabalu With LESS HAIR!!!!!!
still sober at 21:41 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: Finally Friday, travel, whatever, work
Monday, August 09, 2010
I Love Ayam Percik!
still sober at 18:32 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: glutton dy, Monday Loves, travel, weekends, work
Friday, July 23, 2010
My First!
first video log (taken yesterday)!! it's my second video, not posting up the first one cos it's stupid. lol.. the reason why i'm doing this is because the internet connection in Heritage Hotel, Ipoh is REALLY REALLY bad. i had to go to the door to get the connection!!! like this!!
see? erghh..
i'm back in KL now. checked out and came straight to office to do some work and a meeting at 3.30pm later.
okay.. this video is actually quite pointless. gah.. go away!
i believe that practice makes perfect! more to come!! bleh..
still sober at 13:55 2 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: Finally Friday, video, work
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I Hereby Declare...
Month of June & July a problematic month!
Like seriously… what did I do to deserve such treatment?
Isn’t there enough of troubles/problems coming my way?
At the rate of this, I think I’ll go crazy before everyone else.
Seriously! What did I do?
I’m not the one who causes your miseries.
It’s you yourself who makes things worse. Being emotional is not the way to make me feel guilty or anything okay. It’ll only pushes me further away. I’m an emotional bitch also. Just don’t test my patience lah. Being nice to you doesn’t mean that I have to do things your way all the time. I have to stand for my own rights too. Being nice to you doesn’t mean that you can treat me like a dog.
Have you wondered why people are nice to you?
Have you wondered why I’m being nice?
I’m not being hypocrite. I’ve told you many times that I’m all about the heart. I’ve hinted you so many times that you have to change some part of yourself to make things easier for everyone. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.
Yes, I’m a wuss when it comes to certain things. Yes, I only know how to complain and not take action. Because I’m a WUSS! But seriously… I just want a healthy peaceful environment. I don’t want stupid unnecessary things mess up my emotional wellbeing, especially when it doesn’t worth my time.
But no, you’re a selfish person.
You’re all about talking “positive” and making yourself seems forgiving and all that. But in fact, you are the most selfish and emotional person ever!
Yes, sometimes, shit happens. When it happens, we try not to repeat the mistakes. And we try to improvise certain things when there’s a need. But no, you don’t accept changes; you don’t accept honest opinions, cos when we’re honest, you make us sound stupid. Sigh.
I opened my heart to be your friend. I defended you in a lot of situation when others are negative towards you. I turned certain things positively and make it sounds good.
Did you know that?
Nope.
And you do this to me.
I think I deserve more than this.
still sober at 18:25 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Monday, July 12, 2010
I Love Marshmallow Sky!
still sober at 16:17 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: Monday Loves, travel, work
Monday, June 28, 2010
Series Of Unfortunate Events in Kuantan
still sober at 17:31 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: Monday Loves, travel, work
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Hello Butterworth!
still sober at 22:17 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: work
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Summary of 2009
still sober at 17:48 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Friday, March 19, 2010
options.
still sober at 15:40 4 drunkard(s) vomited
Labels: dilemma, Finally Friday, thoughts, wishes, work
Monday, November 16, 2009
What I Miss
still sober at 15:48 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
don't bother. total randomness
So I started work for a week already. And I've been such a good girl for the past week! Can anyone imagine Denise reaching office ONE whole hour EARLIER than scheduled time?
Yes my friends… I've been reaching office an hour earlier, which is 8a.m. (almost) everyday. Well, except for yesterday and today (and the first and second day I reached 15 mins earlier cos I still have to test the timing..) working in PJ is such a bitch sometimes. Though it's near, it seems so far due to the unpredictable traffic jam. The first day, I tried going out at 8.15a.m and reached there at 8.45. the next day, I went out at 8.30, I reached at 8.50. so the day after, I went out at 7.30 and I reached at 8a.m. then I tried 7.15, still reaching at 8a.m. no matter how early I go out, I still reach within 20-30 minutes. So I decided from now on, I will go out at 8.15. just nice. But yesterday, due to the long weekend, I overslept! When I woke up, I thought it was already 10.30! (effects of snoozing) horror I tell you! But when see properly, ceh.. 8.30.. so showered and rushed out at 8.45. reached office at 9.10. a lil late but it's okay cos half of my colleagues reach at 9.30 everyday.
And today, I thought I can reach at least 5 minutes earlier but still late 10minutes cos can you believe it???!? I took the wrong road! Supposed to take the right lane after Kerinchi toll, but I don't know why I go to the left and went to Pusat Bandar Damansara instead! Knn. Have to waste 10 minutes to u-turn.
And last Thursday after work, normally the road will be very jam and it'll take 40 minutes to reach home, BUT to my surprise, the road was very clear! Took me only 15 mins! It's like miracle! I thought I saw the time wrongly…
Ok.. the point is…
KL traffic jams are just unpredictable. I hate traffic jam! Gimme my strawberry jam!(oh.. cameron's strawberry jam is best! I dunno where Uncle Liew got it but it's the BESTEST.)
still sober at 16:43 0 drunkard(s) vomited
Monday, August 17, 2009
I'm 24...
…and jobless again.
This year is a roller coaster ride for me. So many things happened and it scares me a little when things happened beyond my control.
At first, it feels really weird and fear was the first response to the series of (unfortunate) events that took place without a warning (well, sometimes with warning, just that I overlooked). But when I really thought about everything that happened, it reflects how my mind works. And how my bad habit affects (some) decisions that I’ve made.
I’ve never really regret doing things that I’ve done which leads to some problems that are unfavorable to me. What really make me sad are the things that people will do and say whenever I faced problems. And what actually people WILL do to benefit themselves. Seriously, some people will just do whatever it takes to get rid of something when they feel threaten with something they thought dangerous when the actual fact is, it meant no harm at all. And they harm others with their actions, knowingly or unknowingly, I digress.
It makes me more careful of whatever I do or say when I deal with this kind of people. But even I take precaution steps; I still fall into their trap and became a victim of their evil doings. I’ll just take it as bad luck and go on with whatever left of me. Plus, I still believe in karma.
Perhaps these series of (unfortunate) events came haunting me due to the things that I’ve probably done (knowingly or unknowingly, I’m not sure myself) and I’m probably just paying the karma. I’m still considered lucky that nothing extremely bad happened to myself. To me, it’s really just a life lesson to learn. Lessons that I might get to tell my children in the future. Now I understand why mom always nags me. It’s always the same issues that she’s trying to let me know and always asks me to avoid. But being a teenager and a rebellious daughter, I’ve never really listen and took her advises for granted. I admit that I’m still taking her words for granted because it hasn’t really happened to me, yet, but I’ll try to, at all cost, to avoid whatever her prediction was. *fingers crossed*
So back to being jobless this time… so unpredictable and sudden that I almost broke down. But didn’t.
It’s really a long story and not many people agree with what actually happened. There are always two sides of the coin.
Now, I’m back to the journey of looking for jobs and stressing on what to say in interviews, etc. I’ve always hated formal interviews. Especially the most asked question, “tell me about yourself”. Ugh. Hate that question cos I always found myself tongue-tied whenever I have to answer this question. But lucky for me that the last few jobs that I’ve got, I never had to answer it cos they never asks. Heh.
Ok, enough of rambling. I shall get back to job hunting. Wish me luck peeps!
still sober at 20:36 2 drunkard(s) vomited